For most of the past year, I felt that I was busier than I'd really like to be. I was fully aware of this and consciously working to let go of this busyness. I even had a couple months in the latter part of the year where I succeeded in not feeling busy and was thoroughly enjoying just flowing in the moment, but then I again slipped back into feeling busy.
Though I'm very much loving and enjoying my life now, I continue to feel busier than I would like. Largely as a result of this, I've hardly been breathing sacred love other than upon awakening and before going to bed. I want to stop right now and do this for a moment. Please join me. Your sacred love flows into me. My sacred love flows out to you.
Yes to more of that!!! I am fully aware that I am the one creating this. No matter how many things I have to do and how urgent they may appear, I know there is no need to feel overly busy. I am amazed at how much my housemate and friend Andrey creates while hardly ever feeling busy. He is really a master at just being present to what he feels like doing in each moment. I know I am capable of this, yet I somehow continue to resist. There are clearly some important lessons for me to learn here. I want to take that on as my main personal challenge for this coming year. I know that paradise and timelessness are always available right here and right now if only I open to this greater awareness.
And though I'm getting better at inviting support, I still have a ways to go on this, too. I find that I'm still afraid to shine too brightly in some ways. This may be a significant part of what is going on with my knee, which I've injured and reinjured several times in the past two years. A part of me fears that if others see a 50-year-old man doing back flips in the local park or off four-foot walls on Wildcat Peak, they will separate themselves from me because it's too far out of their paradigm. There clearly is some truth to this, yet I also love expressing myself with my body this way. I have yet to fully come to terms with this.
On the breakthrough end, the way Andrey, Beth, and others have shown up in my life to offer support and share in the grand vision of the TT has been just awesome!!! Andrey and I particularly love juicing and energizing each other. We even at times challenge each other on our weaknesses. I love it!
And new people like Teka Lutrell are showing up. Teka is an incredibly visionary artist with a very profound spiritual path and commitment to transformation. He has a wonderfully transformative website at http://www.soulconnection.net filled with awesome art and more. He lets us use his powerful images for free and has even recently offered to volunteer his time and creative energy to enhance our websites visually.
And there are people like Michael Tamura, my all time favorite psychic, who knows more about what is going on in this world and universe than possibly anyone else I know. I saw him only once last year at our mutual friend Elizabeth Dunlavy's 50th birthday. Yet while there, he give me a one-hour download of some of the deepest, darkest, and most amazing things happening on this planet. With Michael, Teka, Andrey, Beth, and many others, I clearly am drawing ever more wonderful support in my life's mission of inviting all to join in our efforts towards personal and global transformation. There are always more challenges ahead, yet I am deeply thrilled and grateful for how much I have grown and continue to learn and expand with each passing year.
Dear Fred,
Thank you for sharing about your core challenges. I certainly have had my own challenges with the "extra busy" syndrome. It's nice to know I'm not alone here.
BTW - I found this on the web and was inspired to share with you here:
In joy and love,
Bodhi
Thanks so much for your support and especially for that awesome poster, Bodhi. Where did you get it? Could you send me the URL? Is there any way I can find the URL myself from something you've posted like this? I so love having your loving presence on our team!
With sacred love and gratitude flowing,
Fred
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Thanks for your wonderful comments Aquene. I just want to point out that Andrey is the one largely responsible for creating this community portal. There is no way I could ever create something like this with my limited Internet skills. I am extremely grateful to have Andrey on our team and blessed to have him as a housemate.
As to the busyness, you are right that this is one of the things that helps me to be a powerful creative force on the planet. Without the deep desire to create transformation now, I'd likely get much less done. Thanks for recognizing this.
That said, there are still many times when my passion slips into obsession without my being aware of it. When I'm passionate, I'm totally loving what I'm doing. When I'm obsessing, I'm no longer enjoying it, but rather doing it because I feel it has to get done. It feels like a burden weighing me down. My commitment is to live less in obsession and lots more in passion. I know that when I do this, I'm actually not only more productive, but my heart energy then much more infuses whatever I'm doing.
Thanks so much for all the wonderful contributions you make to our team, Aquene. It's such a joy and a blessing to be part of this amazing group of people!
With sacred love flowing,
Fred
Fred, you add so much knowledge and spirit to all that you do, it's hard to imagine you NOT busy...your accomplishments are amazing. I notice that you never mentioned a problem with being busy. That was implicit, but what your said was that you felt uncomfortably busy. Why? What is it about how you feel about staying busy that makes you more uncomfortable that just being busy? Or am I misreading?
I was always afraid of shining too brightly, too - now I am loving it - the reason it finally feels so right is that it's for the right reason and not for glory or to boost my ego. I've just finally found the groove I was born to be in, and it shows. At my last job I was the janitor at a large natural foods grocery. The janitor! I knew more customers by name than anyone else in the store. So many of them would stop and talk with me that it was sometimes hard to do my job. Ask me why: I don't know. I mean I do know, but I find it tough to verbalize. I'm not tall, buff, handsome, or especially well-educated. But I am centered, and I shine. Actually, it's about time; there have been too many times when I took. Now it's time to give.
So shine! You don't have to try to shine, just let yourself shine! Just be! Who was it that said Be Here Now...the Baghwan? Tim Leary? Whatever. If you be where you be meant to be, then shine you will. And you do, by the way.
I don't know what your own expectations are. Me, I don't have to be a beacon, a little candle will do as long as it's steady and real. Others are meant to be meteors, comets, stars and suns. It's all good.
When I first learned to breathe sacred love through the TC, I immediately integrated it into breathing exercises I was already using throughout the day to center and focus, namely the very simple technique of letting your mind fill up with nothing except your breathing. That's probably easier for a janitor than it is for a lot of people, I'll admit. But I've taught the technique to several people whose occupations vary, and you can do it pretty much anywhere. When I can grab a few minutes I will do this and also bring in the amygdala-tickle as well. It's amazing how a little two-minute vacation can quiet my spirit when I feel stressed. Breathing sacred love adds the rounded depth to the exercise that makes it so restorative.
Also, I'm too fidgity to spend a long time on my floor pillow in the lotus posture more than once or twice a week. I try to create moments throughout the day when breathing, and breathing sacred love become synonymous.
My new job is fast-paced, the breaks are few and the shift is long. I'm a calm person, but even so, making this a constant part of my day makes a huge difference in my overall stress level as well as the way I focus and connect with people.
Dunno if you'll find my remarks apropos or useful. I'm breathing sacred love right now, are you? Ajo!
8-D
I have not been breathing sacred love nearly as much as I'd like Dave. Thanks for the reminder. My sacred love flows out to you. Yes, I don't have a problem with being busy. I love when I'm moving with passion in my doing mode, which is definitely a form of being busy. I just don't enjoy the feeling of having so much to do that it feels oppressive, and I'm very clear that I create this feeling for myself. There's no real reason why I need to feel this way. I'm working to transform it. Thanks so much for the support and encouragement from you all.
With sacred love flowing,
Fred
I love when I'm moving with passion in my doing mode, which is definitely a form of being busy. I just don't enjoy the feeling of having so much to do that it feels oppressive, and I'm very clear that I create this feeling for myself.
I know exactly what you mean, and I sure hope I didn't seem critical. I guess what I was getting at - in my own mind as I was typing it - was that when I start to get that oppressive feeling of too much to do, I usually find that it's because I'm not really in harmony with whatever it is I'm letting get to me. That's led me to both big and small adjustments. Big like changing careers; small like taking sacred breathing breaks. You have some unease and distress, yet you say there's no reason to feel that way.
Maybe you're working too hard to transform it. Dance with it a bit.
8-D
You are welcome! Thanks for the appreciation! I found the image on the myspace page for Bongo Grrl. I'll email you the original.
In joy and love,
Bodhi
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