Hi, everyone.
A few weeks ago I had a discussion with my manager. I work in a quite large corporation, so the hierarchy is pretty established. I have 8 levels of management between me, and the CEO. Big company. That said, the meeting with my manager was such that she told me that I needed to find another job (within the company). The department is getting smaller, not enough work, etc... I have worked with this manager, and believe her when she tells me that it was not how she wanted things to go. She then told me that her manager said that I was "too laid back" - that nothing got me flustered. LOL... Out of respect to my manager, and the conversation, I didn't thank her. I knew she meant it as a negative criticism.
So, I'm looking for another opportunity outside the department. Preferably in a position where the ability to handle all situations in a peaceful way will be valued.
I wonder if any of you have had experiences where as you transformed into who you are today, you had to deal with people not knowing where they had you any longer. How did you handle the situation?
Much love and light to you,
Kathy
do they mean "too laid back" as in "not motivated enough", or do they mean "too laid back" as in "someone who can take a lot of work thrown at her without getting stressed out and angry". If it is the latter, than you belong in a management position above the manager that said, "too laid back".
If they have the impression that you are not motivated enough, than I wouldn't know what to tell you. One thing is for sure - your serene level headed calm disposition and generous personality is needed somewhere. What was your initial impression about what you felt your manager was really saying???
Hi, Chris.
My manager's manager is type A all the way. She wants all her team to be the same as her - high strung, bitchy, ruthless.
In discussing the situation with a friend of mine, I used an analogy (which may sound way egotistical but I'll repeat it as I think it might be helpful to others here, too). If you ended up sitting next to, say, Jesus (or your favorite manifestation of the Divine) at dinner, you might have one of two reactions, and maybe both... You might think - wow, he's so cool in every way, and I want to hang with him all the time, so I can learn and grow, and be near his energy. On the other hand, you may feel embarrassed, unworthy, judged, etc... and want to get away as quickly as possible. You may react violently, or with anger (hence the tragic deaths of so many of our avatars). I think this reaction if felt by many people whose consciousness is more developed than most.
I think my manager's manager just can't stand to be around me because her energy and mine are so different that I make her feel agitated. She has different values about work and human interactions that just doesn't know what to do with someone who would rather work in harmony and WITH the team, than to beat them into submission. I don't particularly like her way, but it has served her well in her career. As a woman in a male dominated company, she's had to harden herself to excel.
I know I have a spectacular way of making a short story long, but that's what I take from the comment "too laid back".
Much peace and love,
Kathy
PS - In subsequent conversation with my manager, she told me that she discussed the situation with another colleague of hers, and the colleague was "incredulous".
This is a classic case of Corporate STS management in control and trying to control the STO low level worker. Classic!
STS is service to self. I will use you to get what I want. I want to make lots of money and I do not care who I step on, who I have to sleep with or whose butt I have to wipe and kiss! It is about what I want. I will do what you want if you have more power than me. But once I have all the power I will squash you like the bug you are.
STO is service to others. I will do what needs to be done to get the job done as long as it follows my moral guidelines. I will only ignore my moral guidelines if It means saving others and myself. I will do my best to serve others and make a profit. I believe in win-win situations. Where all are served. When I rise to the top I will implement fair and just policies that consider all the needs of others including myself. I believe there is enough for everyone.
STS will try to do in the STO everytime. Corporations are literally staffed by STS. Back-stabbing, lying and cheating are considered assets. It is who you squash is the rule of the day.
Every problem has a solution if you are asking the right questions... so my question is this... what would you really like to be doing? What would your dream job be?
fairyfarmgirl
Hi Kathy,
Sounds like you understand something on a deeper level – how your philosophy and approach to life is in such contrast to “Type A Manager” that it threatens some part of her. I think I have played out a similar script with a few female bosses. I could make so many comments regarding this…. But I won’t. It would be my emotions, my pride, my disappointment and my hurt talking and not my heart.
On another level, it looks like your life is shifting again… Congratulations! It doesn’t always feel that great… but one thing that life shows us over and over and over (and did I say “and over”) again, is that everything changes. It’s about the only thing we can really count on.
We find our little niche that we can fit into comfortably. Our job, our home, our life. Our job seems to be the thing that provides the support for our home and our life. So when something threatens our job…. It kind of shakes our whole world. Many times I have found a nice little spot… and proceeded to get comfortable. The more comfortable I get, the more I expand out into my spiritual side – because that is where my true passion lies. Well, you know what happens when you make changes within, right? Pretty soon the outside world starts changing. We can no longer remain in the little comfort zone we created. Seems to me that life is saying, “Um… Kathy… we have a much better spot for you over here…..It’s just going to require a little movement on your part, though.”
I presume that you are a reader. I would recommend a neat book by Neale Donald Walsh titled, “When Everything Changes…. Change Everything.” It is written in a very easy to read way. Maybe too easy, in some ways, but I found some profound and helpful information within its pages.
BTW, I love the spectacular way you have of making a short story long. I think I have the same affliction!! LoL..
Hope you feel the love and support coming your way Dear Kathy… You are an inspiration to me.
With Love,
Mary
What a beautiful and supportive team - amazing to me when people get where I'm coming from! Yay!
I've always assumed I'd keep this job to pay the bills (it does that very nicely), and pursue my passions outside of my career. This job thing puts that on its ear a bit. Though I believe I'll find another job within the company that will keep me gainfully employed, I don't think I'll expect to work for another 10 - 15 years here.
There have been little projects that I've been working on - home made balms that are infused with Reiki energy, and a book / learning module for middle school aged children on bullying. The bullying project is in its incubation stage, but I can imagine it changing lives. I also continue to work through a master's degree in holistic ministry, which I thoroughly love, though I have no idea what I'll do with it. :) Somehow in all this is a life's work that matches my sensibilities more closely than working to enrich a corporation. Perhaps I'll find out how it all fits together sooner, rather than later. I'm officially open to receiving guidance, and ask that the energy be gentle with me, as a single mom still needs to pay the bills.
I really can feel the love and support from this group. Even the fact that I felt safe to write this tells me how I know that I can share something difficult without feeling exposed. (Yay, us!)
Thanks for the kind words, prayers and good vibes that I know are coming my way. You guys rock!
Much love and light,
Kathy
Hi Kathy-
I've had the same feeling about some people (as you seem to have about the manager's manager). I find it helps to pray for a healing of the relationship. I don't ask for understanding, or the other to change, or myself to change - just a healing of the relationship. ("Dear God, please heal my relationship with Blank")
Good luck and I think it's wonderful that you are laid back in a high strung environment - just think of all the wonderful teaching you are doing, I'm sure many of your co-workers are learning loads from your positive example.
I wonder if the problem manager actually prefers disfunction or likes discord? I had a boss like that a few years ago. After 3 incidents in which I felt he was being totally unreasonable, I just quit. Like I said, I think it's great that you can remain laid back working with these people - it's actually a great asset.
Wendy
Something struck me as I was reading along. Sometimes when we are not so aligned with another soul in 3D land, we tend to find fault with the "other" as a normal process of trying to refashion and restore our balance. This is such a normal function of this level of existence and experience.
Something I did the other day in a vaguely similar situation, being a bit at odds with someone, I addressed their higher Self and instantly received a reception in that unmistakeable place in my heart where the resonation is so clear and coherent when invited and received. It took me by surprise. Should I be surprised that some things in the cosmos are that simple? naaaah, probably not.
I am going to try that out some more when it comes up again and see how it goes experientially. I truly believe it is that approachable, always on the ready, and that there is virtually no blockage at that level. A bit like turning the channel to a clearer reception of broadcast without so much white noise and hum bars, and no soap operas, LOL... very serene and seriously accommodating in such a surprising and refreshing way.
Anyway, just a thought concerning methodology props for helping to navigate this very dynamic and very illusory terrain on this very amazing planet, in this very amazing time in human/earth history.... Holding you dearest Kathy in the Love and Light of the One Infinite Creator, where we are all One, where there is no other, other, other, other....... (fade to none but One)........ LLP, Chris
Hi Kathy, what a blessing! There is so much information about that 2010 is a year of new beginnings and transformation, the hardest part is letting go of the old (I'm talking to myself here also). Your manager is making it easy for you to seek out and embrace new experience, within the company? Maybe, but there might be something more interesting futher afield. What does your heart desire? Do that. Easy to say I know but perhaps you have bben 'given permission' to seek new paths. It sounds like your 'laid back' presence is probably resonating at a speed much higher then your manager is capable of dealing with and is therefore uncomfortable with your presence. May I suggest going within, identifying your Heart's desire and then asking your spirit guides for assistence in manifesting that aspect of yourself. I'm not generally up for giving advice except to say I am giving that advice to myself also at this moment. Sending you love and light, as One, Rob.
The whole reason I share this stuff is to start the conversation and the thinking about how it might effect one of you in a similar or completely different way. If my admission of struggles helps someone else feel less alone, and in the process make me feel less alone, then it's all good. :)
I love the suggestions of praying to heal the relationship (without the need for understanding), and appealing to the Higher Self of the other person. In doing these practices this morning, I feel lighter in some way. A peaceful acceptance of the gift she's giving me in asking me to leave the group.
Identifying the Heart's desire seems to allude me in some ways. I have many signposts, but I'm not sure what any of them mean just yet. I'm going to have to do some intentional journaling to see where it takes me. I also know that a contact I've made over the years has found me a potential job in his group. It would be a challenge, but also a place where I could make a positive impact. He's also nearly as big of a mush as yours truly. LOL
As I'm sitting here writing this, I got the impression of him as the warm, cozy den with the fire in the fireplace and the comfy chairs, and her as the ultra modern professional style stainless steel kitchen. Both have their place in a home. LOL... my flash of brilliance for the day.
I hope everyone is having a great day, today. Thank you for being witness to my growth and changes.
Much love and light to you,
Kathy
Chris - I sure like that new idea/thought/experiment that you threw out and shared with us all. I have rolled it around in my consciousness a bit, liking the way that it feels, and trying to keep it up there in my conscious awareness…. Ready to use. Well… I did remember it a couple times today. The people I was talking to were people I liked and got along with well. But, being a curious sort…. I tried it anyway… Can’t hurt right? Experiment a little with figuring out the “how to’s” of it and all. I will only say this. I will definitely be using this approach in as many situations as I can think of to use it! I think you are on to something wonderful. Thanks for sharing that.
Much love to you,
Mary
Hi Kathy
The way I see it, if there's a chance you can find another place in this corporation "where the ability to handle situations in a peaceful way (and other qualities you probably have...) will be valued", that in itself might be a totally new and great experience both for you and them.
Sending you much love,
Norma