Judge: Did you resist him?
Prostitute: No, Your Honor.
Judge: Why not?
Prostitute: I didn't realize that he was raping me.
Judge: And when did you realize that he had raped you?
Prostitute, wiping away tears: When his check bounced.
Life in court
The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"
Frankly, I didn't expect to get any for this marginal humor.
When Grandma Goes To Court Humor; Posted on: 2008-01-17 20:06:02 [ Printer friendly / Instant flyer ]
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'
She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'