Three Australians and three Maori's are travelling by train...

Three Australians and three Maori's are travelling by train to a Rugby match at the World Cup in England.

At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three Maori's buy just one ticket between them.
"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Aussies. "Watch and learn bro, answers one of the Maori's
They all board the train.

The Aussies take their respective seats but all three Maori's cram into a toilet and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes the ticket and moves on..

The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to go one better on the return trip and savesome money (being clever with money, and all that).
When they get to the station for the return trip, the Maoris buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Aussies don't buy a ticket at all!!
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Maori.
"Watch and learn bro, " answers an Aussie ....

When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a toilet and soon after the three Maori's cram into another nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterwards, one of the Aussies leaves the toilet and walks
over to the toilet where the Maoris are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please"

Love it John, great joke!

Eyejay's picture

I knew you'd love that soon as I saw it.

Typical Aussies though, they are such good CHEATS .............

Oh!!!! What's that in my cheek :)

I knew it...it always gets back to that doesn't it......must be 20 years ago now......

Trevor Chappel is a LEGEND!......Lol

For the Americans...we cheated really bad in cricket once...like real bad...although technically it was in the rules..lol....and the Kiwi's are never going to get over it....which we LOVE!...HA Ha   we won!...hehehehe

 

Brian's picture

really funny Lightwins

Unite's picture

thats a good one, sharp wit, cheating the cheats to cheat even more then the cheats... :) say that 10 Times fast lol

Viveka's picture

A friend sent this in email, felt it was fun to share.

Lets Go Travelling

I have been in many places, but  I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone.
You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there,

thanks to my friends, family and work. I live close so it's a

short drive.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to  jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have  also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very  important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart!

At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not.

People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before!

I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there. I actually kind of enjoy it  there.

So far, I haven't been in Continent; but my travel agent says I'll be going soon.


Peace and Love

tscout's picture

  i love that tour you just took us on.....I have been to another great vacation spot....I was in Limbo,,,It was very affordable !, as the visit never seemed to end ! I have heard that much of the world is visiting this place now, and they are all trying to figure out where they are headed next ! ! !

   By the way, i was really touched by you and your daughter's words in your recent comment on ian's post. I entertained similar views, that raw acknowledgement of duality, a few years back when facing something similar, but never really put it into words. Thanks for reminding me how lucky I am to still be experiencing this amazing time............L,,,,,,,,,,,T

Viveka's picture

 I found that Lifes experiences will strip you of everything.... and fling you inwards into the Great Void.... For me I found once you really let go...... you find that it"s  the Void itself that supports you..... Silent Stillness it Permeates every atom of your Being irradiating it with a great Peace...... 

I had been looking for it in Meditation and in the Religions of the world for what seems like Lifetimes, it would come fleetingly but dissappear the next time my mind found another sweet distraction .....But it was in the Most Intense Emotional pain that I have ever encountered that the (Pearl of Great Price) was won.

Each finds it in thier own Hearts, I figure thats where we are Collectively headed Now..... Thats the Secret that the Cartel don't want Humanity to know about.... (they are trying to keep the Mind of Humanity trapped in the distaction of Fearful Subservient Survival )     Instead of the "TRUTH" Know ledge that it is    (indeed all of Life everywhere within the Void) IS EVER FREE and completely  supported by the Void...... It reminds me of Astral Travel You can go anywhere you like (but don't pack a bag) because you  can't take anything with you or bring anything back.

The problem seems to be that we want our freedom but we also want the pleasures that the five sences has given us as well..... Are we trapped by our own attachment?  

Sorry Tscout not sure why that had to be spoken

Peace and Love

Bob07's picture

Viveka,

I know your response was to Todd, but of course it's for everyone, too. You have said it all, on the individual scale and on the scale of what's going on in the world.  So I want to acknowledge and thank your for expressing the Real Deal.

You're talking about the experience that you've had and that's available to all of us, not in words, ideas, and stories, but, again, in the "act" of letting go.  Sometimes people get thrown into the Void by powerful emotional pain, the way you have and the way Eckhart Tolle was.  But for most of us it involves an ongoing willingness to let go (of ideas, identity, the world, everything...), and then one day we may find that we've slipped into the Void. 

If you live there all the time, Viveka, God bless you.  Some of us just visit, but the visits get longer, and "It" bleeds through in any case.  "Retirement" is inevitable.

(For Westerners the idea of the Void sounds scary.  But it's only what's left when we subtract all the identification, ideas, self-ness, and attachment that normally fill our experience.  What's left?  We can say love, awareness, clarity, space, the ground of all things, freedom...  but they're only words.  The moment-to moment opening is all.  The rest is entertainment.)

Blessings.  Each breath is its own benediction.

tscout's picture

on "contact from the underworld of red boy"  in "rattlebones" about an indian dancing,,says,,,,,,

 An eagle feather breaks loose,and falls to the ground,,,,,the drums stop..........it is this silence that scares the white man....................................................T

 

Viveka's picture

Bob and Tscout

All is Perfect.   They Say Each must come to know God in thier own way....They also say that it is the end time of the Dharma and that the last of the ancient Buddha's will be Known as the Shining Ones....The New Buddha's, "which I understand to be all of Humanity" will be known as the Immortals.

I guess, How that will come about, depends on Humanity.

You Know After Birth a Mothers Breasts are Large and Full...and Even before the Baby cries the Mother Knows and the Milk Begins to Flow..... Its a difficult Birth, were a big baby, but Bless us we are moving on through......

TRANSITION

The twins in the Mother's womb were uninformed and unaware at the beginning.

As the weeks followed each other, they grew. There hands and feet, organs began to develop. Meanwhile, they began to notice what was happening around them. As they came to know more of the comfortable and safe place they were in, their happiness was augmented. They always said to each other the same thing.

"Having come to the womb, living here...How wonderful, isn't it??? Ah how beautiful Life is.

As they grew, they set of to explore the world they were living in. Indeed, what was the source of Life? And searching this, they came across the cord connecting them to their Mother. They detected it was by this very cord that they were effortlessly Nurtured in comfort and safety.

"How ample is our Mothers grace and affection! She sends us all we need via this cord..."

Now that months were passing by, the twins were rapidly growing. In other words, they were getting closer to the "end of the road". As they watched, in awe, these changes, they began to receive signs of departure; leaving, one day, this world of beauty.

They began to feel these signs even more strongly, as they neared the ninth month. One of the twins, growing anxious of the situation, aksed the other:

"What is happening? What is the meaning to all these??"

The other was more serene and self-contained. Besides, the place they were in, often did not satisfy him and he desired a larger realm. He replied:

"All these simply mean that we will not be able to stay in this world far longer." An added: "We are coming to the end of our lives here."

"But I don't want to go", the other cried. "I want to stay here forever...."

"There's nothing we can do. And perhaps, there IS Life after Birth."

"How could this be, after the cord that gives us life is cut off?" replied the other. If the cord that gives us life is cut, how can we remain alive. Tell me?"...And look! there have been others before us and then they have left. None have returned that one could tell there was life after bith...No this will be the end of everything...."

Having said all this He added:

"And perhaps there is no Mother!!"

"There must be" rejected the other. How otherwise could we have come here, How could we survive?"

"Have you ever seen our Mother?' insisted the other. Maybe she exists only in our minds. Maybe we have made it all up, for the mere thought of having a mother eased us.

And thus passed their last days in the womb with profound questionings and debates.

Eventually, the time of birth came. The twins , when they left their world of comfort, opened their eyes to another world....and they began to weep tears of joy...For the scenery they saw, was even beyond their imaginations......

A beautiful story via Murat Oz

 

Peace and Love

lightwins's picture

Thank you!

The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"