Finally returned from a long walk with the Black Dog!!!!!

A couple of stories to ponder. from Some gleanings of Oriental Wisdom by CF Wong.

More than a thousand yeas ago, a scholar went to see a great master of a school in a city called Chang'an.

The scholar said: Master I come to you to be led to a state of enlightenment. I believe only you can deliver me to such a state, I need transcendence.'

The teacher looked at him and said; 'I need to shit.'

The scholar was confused. He said; 'Why do you say this to me?'

The Master said. 'I don't want to move. So I wonder if you can go to the toilet and shit for me please?.'

The scholar; 'But I cannot do it for you. You have to do it for yourself.'

The Master said. 'Yes.'

And the scholar understood.

Blade of grass.... Every student must undertake his own personal journey. There is only room on The Way for one person at a time.

When does the journey end?

The  Zen masters tell the story of the famous poet Bai Juyi,

He went to see the Monk Niaowo and asked him how he could become One with Heaven. Monk Niaowo said. ' Do Good Do Not do bad.'

The Poet Bai Juyi said; 'A child of three know it. '

Monk Niaowo said; 'A child of three knows it. But a man of one hundred cannot do it. Enjoy the journey, for the journey is the end and the end is the journey.

Peace Peace Peace.

Hi, Ian.

I've actually been struggling recently (with depression), and came to check in with the old crowd, too.  Connection is so important so just being here, and interacting is helpful and theraputic. (I'm glad you still check in daily, even though you don't feel like you can comment a lot.)

When I am ready, I try to think about my special form of depression as a visitor, who is knocking at the door and will not leave until they are invited in, and have a chat with you.  There is a message to be heard - and they know you're home.  I try to meditate or sit quietly and imagine that I am sitting at the kitchen table for tea with my visitor (mine looks like the Dementors, from Harry Potter).  We're pleasant and civil to one another.  I ask what they'd like to tell me, and then I listen.  When they are done, they will leave, but if you resist them, or cut them off, or don't really listen, they'll just stick around.  So I ask, and if I can't hear them through my own chatter, I'll try another time (truly, they are fine with sticking around until I actually listen.).

Maybe this can help you, too.  Worth a try...

I've battled and struggled and danced with depression for my whole adult life, and it's just now getting easier to embrace.

Connection with people, being kind to strangers, laughing often, long or short walks, being in nature, feeling gratitude, sitting with your pet... all so theraputic for deep sadness.

Lots of love and hugs.  Things will brighten - try not to give up.

Kathy

Thank you for the vulnerable sharing here. I know a lot of people suffer from depression that can really be debilitating.

I had one intense, prolonged depression when I was 29, but other than that I am blessed to almost never get depressed. I'm thankful I had that one bout, which lasted six months, as I know how intense it can be for instance, to be riding a bicycle through the beauty of the Swiss Alps and feel not even a twinge of joy or pleasure as I was overwhelmed with depression.

And yes, connection can make all the difference. Thank you for connecting with us in such a real way here. I'm sending all of you much love and warm kisses to your heart.

With deep love and gratitdue,
Fred

Ian & Kathy,

Kathy, you put it just right! 

Milarepa, the famous Tibetan yogi of old -- as the story goes -- entered his cave to meditate one day, only to discover five demons there disrupting things and messing the place up.  He tried to get them out, but the harder he tried the more of a problem they became.  Then they told him that they would help him if only he would sing them a song and befriend them.  And so he did.  He dropped his resistance to them, included them in his practice, and they helped him to grow spiritually.

Although I don't suffer from depression (much), there are other "visitors" from the shadow side of myself who knock at my door.  And letting them in is the only way to go.  In fact, it's part of the meditative work (bare awareness) that I do in the Buddhist tradition (although it's not exclusive to Buddhism).  When "Mara" (ego, depression, self-deprecation, afflictive emotions, negativity of any kind) comes calling, I try to see what he wants, let him be there to say what he says and dance his dance, I being just an observer of whatever he presents.  Just a kindly but neutral witness.  Then, being satisfied, he will go.  I recognize that he has presented an opportunity for me to be accepting of what is, be non-judgmental, and master the situation by means of my own Awareness.  I admit that this doesn't always succeed, but it succeeds often enough that I trust it.  As someone said, not out of the swamp, but through it (with acceptance and Awareness).

Thank you all for creating this thread.

Eyejay

Wonder if you might find this interesting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7c3AVj66ahg

with Love

Peace Peace Peace

I sometimes wonder what I'd do without the G-spot.  It's my reality check, my breath of fresh air, my dose of sanity... and it's of all of you that make it what it is.  Thank you so much.

The responses here to your most candid admission, Ian, are so good, I don't know if I can add much, but I'll try...

You could say that suicide runs in my family.  For many years I struggled with depression.  After reading your post, Ian, it struck me that I rarely get blue for more than a few hours anymore.  I'm not sure what happened to break the cycle.  It could be because I monitor the food and toxins my body is exposed to and I feed myself chocolate when I'm in a slump.  (St. John's Wort and listening to music helps, too.) 

When I feel the blues coming on, I reach for my happy thought.  In my case, just the thought of rubbing my cat's furry belly while he purrs contently makes me smile.  Find your happy thought, Ian.  Maybe it's of your daughter or of a fond memory.

If I had to guess, I'd say that the key for me has been accepting that my lot in life has more than its "fair share" of tribulations.  It isn't self-pity or a victim mindset that brought me to this conclusion.  Rather, it has taken a careful, objective look at my life to accept the crappy hand I've been dealt.  But without all the hard knocks I would not be the person that I am -- and I like who I am; I wouldn't want to be anyone else.

It also helps to count your blessings.  You've maybe heard the story of the boy who found himself in a room filled with shit.  Instead of sinking into despair, he happily began flinging the poo by the armful against the wall.  He said," With all this shit around, there's bound to be a pony somewhere!"