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Can we make ourselves happier?
Can we make ourselves happier? According to studies from all over the globe collated by the World Happiness Database in Rotterdam, we can. But the path to happiness may not be where we are looking for it.
Professor Ruut Veenhoven, Director of the Database and Emeritus professor of social conditions for human happiness at the Erasmus University in Rotterdam, says his own study found a slight negative correlation between the number of times people in a study spontaneously mentioned "goals" and their happiness.
"Though it is generally assumed that you need goals to lead a happy life, evidence is mixed. The reason seems to be that unhappy people are more aware of their goals, because they seek to change their life for the better."
But perhaps the most intriguing finding from an array of studies on file at the database is the lack of correlation between seeing meaning in life and being happy.
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"Surprisingly I found no correlation," says Professor Veenhoven. Studies suggest leading an active life is the strongest correlate with happiness.
"In order to have a happy life, a rewarding life, you need to be active. So involvement is more important to happiness than meaning in the sense of the why, why we are here."
But the best news on file at the World Happiness Database is that we can make ourselves happier, and not just through external changes like having more money.
"Research has shown that we can make ourselves happier because happiness does change over time," says Professor Veenhoven, "and these changes are not just a matter of better circumstances but of better dealing with life. Elderly people tend to be wiser, and for that reason, happier."
So what should we do to make ourselves happier?
Studies collated by the database say you tend to be happier if you:
- Are in a long-term relationship
- Are actively engaged in politics
- Are active in work and in your free time
- Go out for dinner
- Have close friendships (though happiness does not increase with the number of friends you have)
And there are some surprising findings:
- People who drink in moderation are happier than people who don't drink at all
- Men tend to be happier in a society where women enjoy greater equality
- Being considered good looking increases men's happiness more than it does women's.
- You tend to be happier if you think you're good looking, rather than if you actually, objectively speaking, are.
- Having children lowers your happiness levels, but your happiness increases when they grow up and leave home.
And be careful of that morning commute to work.
“You can make everything clean and tomorrow it's dirty again, so why do it?”
Jana Koopman
A German study (by Frey and Stutzer published in 2004) found a strong link between time spent commuting and satisfaction with life. Those who spent an hour on their journey to work were found to be significantly less happy that those who did not commute.
And the study suggests that higher earnings from a job that involves commuting do not compensate for the time lost.
Professor Veenhoven and his colleagues have been trying to encourage people to do more of what makes them happy with a diary they can fill out online. So far it has attracted more than 20,000 users.
Pensioner Jana Koopman says it has changed her life, not just because it helped her identify what makes her happy, and prompted her to take up a painting class, but because it made her do less of what doesn't make her happy.
Top 10 happiest countries
Countries ranked in order of "satisfaction with life", according to the World Database of Happiness:
- Costa Rica
- Denmark
- Iceland
- Switzerland
- Norway
- Finland
- Mexico
- Sweden
- Canada
- Panama
"You can make everything clean and tomorrow it's dirty again, so why do it? Or don't do it too often. I like to read. So now I just pick up a book I want to read and leave all the other things."
Don't worry, though, if you can't put down your laptop and pick up a book or a paintbrush. We can't be happy all the time.
Research shows that sadness is useful. It acts as a red traffic light to curb negative behaviour.
According to studies on the database it's actually good for us all to be sad 10% of the time.
Professor Veenhoven and his colleagues have begun analysing the data collected in the online diary to conduct more happiness studies.
So far, analysis on self-confessed workaholics shows, perhaps unsurprisingly, that unwinding after work with exercise rather than a beer on the sofa makes for a happier life.
These are very interesting stats, Brian.
The one that particularly stuck out for me is this one:
"Though it is generally assumed that you need goals to lead a happy life, evidence is mixed. The reason seems to be that unhappy people are more aware of their goals, because they seek to change their life for the better."
When I see things that are unjust, inefficient, or stupid, etc. I tend to want to change them. To me, settling for things that need improvement is a form of apathy. It;s what ails the world.
For example, if people didn't accept air and water pollution and earth destruction these things wouldn't exist. If we didn't accept government corruption, corporate welfare, bank bailouts, war, and other injustices we could eliminate them.
What makes me unhappy is that few people share my perspective or are willing to do anything to improve life on earth.
But I'd rather be unhappy with these things than be too apathetic to care.
Thanks for that great article, Brian. I'll be sharing it.
Much love and gratitude,
Fred
Maybe the world needs people who are not going to feel satisfied. It may be a necessary for our survival as a species. Just like some are good at math, or hunting, or healing, or telling stories. In my personal experience, I have seen that most women in stable relationships with men express frequent dissatisfaction with the status quo (and what their mate is accomplishing). It's uncomfortable for the guys but ultimately they benefit from trying to fill their woman's needs because they end up with a better life than they would have left to their own devices....just an observation. I've heard it said that women have a built in marriage manual and that guys had better be aware of it to be happy.
I've heard claims that to improve yourself is counterproductive because it is like saying "I'm not OK" and thus you are perpetually at war against yourself. I suspect this is partly true but partly untrue. Right now I'm feeling good about me because I'm studying for a professional license. (is this only "good" because I feel a temporary respite from disliking myself?) I'm also trying to accept my failings so I don't beat myself up. (wait...- maybe we're supposed to become dissatisfied with ourselves from time to time for our own good-a survival mechanism? Otherwise we'd get happy with crap to the detriment of the species?)
On being happy, I walk a line between caring too much about events and too little-never finding a happy medium. Some of the causes of this vacillation are:
I'm trying to avoid disappointment with politicians increasing awfulness (by not watching the news anymore), being told by an author that unseen beings help steer this world who I need to interact with to effect change, another says it's about becoming a magnet to bring what I need, people say you must be selfless to help, others say it is best to concentrate on being happy to effect change. Should I protest in the streets? Should I work on being happy so as to effect happiness in others and change the world? Some say fuck the world-its too big and you are hurting yourself trying to help it. Just accept it and be happy with what you have. I'm trying a little of everything right now, in a sort of cavalier experiment with these concepts. Trying not to take myself too seriously...life's short and somebody said you have to enjoy the ride-God-there's no end of sayings and advice is there?????
Bravo. I think you voiced just about every possible view on this subject. I think your sentiments suggest that we're all human, which brings with it a gamut of doubts, opinions, and emotions.
I used to work for a college whose slogan was, "Be yourself, only better." To me it always felt like they were saying you aren't good enough unless you attend our school. That may not have been their intention.
Personally, I've been on a self-improvement 'kick' for the past 3 decades. That's the way I like it.
BTW, I don't mean to upset your observation about women in stable hetero relationships, but this gal (yours truly) isn't presently in that demographic. I think the desire to change things for the better is just my nature, no matter who I do or don't hang my hat with.
It seems like such a natural desire to want to improve living conditions that it surprises me that everyone doesn't want to do the same.
"Be yourself, only better." -that's friggin hilarious! and yes I bet they didn't see it that way too. We all get bombarded with sideways advertising messages like that all the time. I subscribe to the "improve thyself" club too-it seems like I don't even have a choice about it. It's like an instinct more than a choice maybe because I think if I want to have a chance with a great woman...but I also want us all to live better and not suffer and I have to try to make something better and well I can maybe make it be me that's better. My younger sister did my family a solid when she confronted her own troubles, abuse, failings and emotional baggage (much to the temporary discomfort of my stuck-in-a-rut family) and healed and remade herself dragging us all up along with her. Kind of a family reboot-thanks-Christabel!
hmmmm-I didn't paste that 4 times....
Interesting article. I totally agree that being more active in life would make you happier...problem I have is that I have no inspiration to take action...so much I want to do that just doesn't get done and that causes unhappiness. Also I think being aware of changes you want to make within yourself and the world is a cause for unhappiness because you compare your current state with your idealized state and you feel the discontent of not being there. I have to try to feel and express gratitude for where I am and remind myself that I'm good enough as is, which is hard because I tend to beat myself up for not being all that I feel I'm capable of. Back when I was less evolved and less self aware I was way happier. That cloud of denial I was living in made me see everything with rose colored glasses...I didn't have hardly a care in the world...it wasn't until I started really looking at myself and my life and the world that I became to be more unhappy with the way things were and wanted to change. Sometimes I wish I could just go back. lol
Interesting article. I totally agree that being more active in life would make you happier...problem I have is that I have no inspiration to take action...so much I want to do that just doesn't get done and that causes unhappiness. Also I think being aware of changes you want to make within yourself and the world is a cause for unhappiness because you compare your current state with your idealized state and you feel the discontent of not being there. I have to try to feel and express gratitude for where I am and remind myself that I'm good enough as is, which is hard because I tend to beat myself up for not being all that I feel I'm capable of. Back when I was less evolved and less self aware I was way happier. That cloud of denial I was living in made me see everything with rose colored glasses...I didn't have hardly a care in the world...it wasn't until I started really looking at myself and my life and the world that I became to be more unhappy with the way things were and wanted to change. Sometimes I wish I could just go back. lol
Interesting article. I totally agree that being more active in life would make you happier...problem I have is that I have no inspiration to take action...so much I want to do that just doesn't get done and that causes unhappiness. Also I think being aware of changes you want to make within yourself and the world is a cause for unhappiness because you compare your current state with your idealized state and you feel the discontent of not being there. I have to try to feel and express gratitude for where I am and remind myself that I'm good enough as is, which is hard because I tend to beat myself up for not being all that I feel I'm capable of. Back when I was less evolved and less self aware I was way happier. That cloud of denial I was living in made me see everything with rose colored glasses...I didn't have hardly a care in the world...it wasn't until I started really looking at myself and my life and the world that I became to be more unhappy with the way things were and wanted to change. Sometimes I wish I could just go back. lol
Yikes...didn't mean to post that a million times! lol
Yes it's the Pete and repeat show today....Lucky for us Fearless Leader is hard at work fixing the internets's pipes.