To the Woman Behind Me in Line at the Grocery Store
(from a woman I don't know. J)
Posted on March 19, 2014
Dear woman behind me in line at the grocery store,
You don’t know me. You have no clue what my life has been like since October 1, 2013. You have no clue that my family has gone through the wringer.
You have no clue that we have faced unbelievable hardship. You have no clue we have been humiliated, humbled, destitute.
You have no clue I have cried more days than not; that I fight against bitterness taking control of my heart. You have no clue that my husband’s pride was shattered.
....
You have no clue my kids have had the worries of an adult on their shoulders. You have no clue their innocence was snatched from them for no good reason. You know none of this.
What you do know is I tried to buy my kids some food and that the EBT machine was down so I couldn’t buy that food. I didn’t have any cash or my debit card with me. I only had my SNAP card.
All you heard was me saying “No, don’t hold it for me. My kids are hungry now and I have no other way of paying for this.”
You didn’t judge me. You didn’t snarl “Maybe you should have less kids.” You didn’t say “Well, get a job and learn to support yourself.” You didn’t look away in embarrassment or shame for me. You didn’t make any assumptions at all.
What you did was you paid that $17.38 grocery bill for us. You gave my kids bananas, yogurt, apple juice, cheese sticks, and a peach ice tea for me; a rare treat and splurge.
You let me hug you and promise through my tears that I WILL pay this forward. I WILL pay someone’s grocery bill for them.
That $17.38 may not have been a lot for you, but it was priceless to us.
In the car my kids couldn’t stop gushing about you; our “angel in disguise.” They prayed for you. They prayed you would be blessed.
You restored some of our lost faith.
What you do know is I tried to buy my kids some food and that the EBT machine was down so I couldn’t buy that food. I didn’t have any cash or my debit card with me. I only had my SNAP card.
All you heard was me saying “No, don’t hold it for me. My kids are hungry now and I have no other way of paying for this.”
You didn’t judge me. You didn’t snarl “Maybe you should have less kids.” You didn’t say “Well, get a job and learn to support yourself.” You didn’t look away in embarrassment or shame for me. You didn’t make any assumptions at all.
What you did was you paid that $17.38 grocery bill for us. You gave my kids bananas, yogurt, apple juice, cheese sticks, and a peach ice tea for me; a rare treat and splurge.
You let me hug you and promise through my tears that I WILL pay this forward. I WILL pay someone’s grocery bill for them.
That $17.38 may not have been a lot for you, but it was priceless to us.
In the car my kids couldn’t stop gushing about you; our “angel in disguise.” They prayed for you. They prayed you would be blessed.
You restored some of our lost faith.
Many years ago-when my first daughter was 3 months old I was working full time. My husband needed to have two majors surgeries. One within weeks of bringing her home (he was in pain while I was in labor and it wasn't imagined), and the other 2 months after that. Initially an appendectomy that when biopsied showed evidence of tumor activity and a large portion of intestine was removed.
I was exhausted from working and caring for a new baby and he was unable to help or even lift her, though she was just 5 lbs when she came home. The weight of it all was crashing down around me as I stood in that line. I was preoccupied with thoughts of how he might not even be here to see our daughter grow up if what the doctors thought his outcome might be were true.
I was on my way home and needed stockings for the next day and diapers for her. nothing else, nothing unneccessary. The line was really long and everyone in it seemed angry and behind me the line was even longer. The cashier was not nice either. After what seemed like hours in line, my total was rung up and I realized I had less money than I thought (much the situation of the lady above). I dug and dug to the bottom of my purse-I was 25 cents short.
I was embarrassed, I was tired, the cashier was glaring at me when the next lady in line handed the quarter to the cashier. The cashier glared at her in disbelief (I think she'd have been happy to personally escort me out of that store!) I said, no, I could wear my run stockings one more day but she insisted I let her help me.
Now it seems like such a small thing. Just a quarter. But that day, that lady, in that instant was my angel too. She knew it'd never be repaid by me and I did too. I wish I could tell her how many times in my life I have thought of her tender little act of kindness and how many times I've repaid it in other small ways through my lifetime. She too, restored my faith in humankind-ness that day.
Great story John and a reminder that 'but by the grace of God go I.' We never truly know what another is going through, sometimes not even the people we think we're closest to. Opening our hearts and being empathetic can create such a space for grace to move through situations. It's amazing sometimes what a simple smile or someone holding the door or any number of things that used to be 'common courtesy' can make in someone's day. Random acts of kindness generate more and more of them.
To Earth Angels everywhere-God bless you every one.
I've been on both sides of this kind of situation. It has always been a gift to me when someone accepts my help.