I noticed at the to of the page "portal for personal growth". Here's some personal growth. I've made a mistake and I would like to state my intentions as a result of realizing this mistake.I will prioritize consideration, cooperation, non aggression, integration, forgiveness, compassion and so on, over stating opinion or advice about behavior, beliefs, intentionsl, grammar, mannerisms, etc and etc.. If someone takes me to task, I realize, for the sake of the all and what we are trying to change in this world, it is important to apply this intention in such a case, as having not done so has put me in the same boat I so vehemently oppose. Thank you for your consideration and I hope this message is received and understood as intended. ,
You clearly wanted to behave better but stumbled man. Whatever mistake you feel contrite for, let your sadness or disappontment in yourself go. Have compassion for yourself.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Gary, and for your intention of finding compassion to be a priority. I wish you all the best with it.
With sacred love and warm wishes,
Fred
Awesome Gary !!!!!
I grew up with 'if you don't have something nice to say, say nothing' and 'WHAT will the neighbors think??' and I don't exactly agree with either. Sometimes something gets our dander up and to shove it all down and pretend it hasn't might eventually be a source of 'dis-ease' so sometimes it feels like something needs said.
I try to say things as gently as I can, but it can take alot of strength and patience to actually live that. Sometimes that's enough to clear the air and sometimes it's just an opportunity to 'open mouth-insert foot'! We all have to learn not to take everything so personal, most times what we 'see' isn't what the other person intended at all.
As for 'what will the neighbors think' I used to tell my parents 'who the hell cares' and that is the way I raised my kids-to not worry about what others think OF us as long as we're living our own truth and not deliberately choosing to hurt others. I don't think anyone involved in recent conflicts here deliberately intended to unload on anyone else. At least that's my take on it.
When someone or something really rankles me, I usually have something about myself that I'm not seeing and so I ask what lesson there is in it for me. I think it's admirable to apologize as well as to graciously accept when apologized to. Forgiveness is a major lesson for most of us, and forgiving ourselves is often the hardest 'pill' to swallow.
To both Gary and Noa, I would regret either of you not posting what fuels your growth and enhances the rest of our growth as well. There are always folks that know more or less than we do, it doesn't make us more or less than. I am glad to have the opportunity to 'share' with each of you.
Blessings on your paths! kristyne
I sincerely respect you for that, Gary. Of course, in spite of our intentions we can still stumble, so self-foregiveness is in order, as Krisyne says -- even in advance.
Hey, I learned a trick a short time ago. It's about changing our state when we get panicked, but it works for any reactive state. You breathe in for 4 counts, hold it for 4, breathe out for 4, and wait for 4 more before breathing again. It works. I'm going to try to remember to do it before I respond to remarks that push my buttons.
By the way, "grammer" is spelled "grammar". [Start counting... just kidding ;-) ]
Bob, is that the quantum breathing exercise? I have used it also as calming therapy. Works wonders.
And Gary, I loved your style even before you went deeper in this forum post. Just makes me love you more... And couldn't agree more with all of you about how hard it can be to forgive ourselves....
I always love the healing that comes in this group after some dust has been kicked up...
Ya'll ROCK!
Bob, the grammar thing was hilarious and I'm serious.
Chris, I have a lot of practice with forgiving myself. Lol. Yeah, I'm a healer, as in, one who prefers to get to the healing and be done. The sooner the better. Thanks for your generous remarks, they are encouraging. Rock on.
Kristyne I grew up with "why don't you say something?". Letting someone get away with something was ridiculous. So I never resonated with the "say something nice" at all. I felt the only way to apply that concept would require having to be fake and phony. So I'm not sure or whatever. So one day I was considering ascension and transition, kind transformation, levels, dimensions, and more, when kind of scene came to mind. It was me and what I felt like, was my higher self or some wiser individual and the question was, what's the most helpfsul or basic action, to be considered as a minimal tolerance for me or any other person to get to the next whatever? And that person never said anything, cause they never do. But what occurred to me instantly was, l if you can't learn to be nice, you don't meet the requirements to advance to the next level". I thought, acting nice is insincere isn't it? Then of course it occurred to me it's LEARN to BE NICE, not dole out niceness. I'll leave it there. Thanks for all you contribute. I do get a sense of calming when reading what you have to say. Thanks for that if that's you.
I don't believe any of us actually 'get away with' anything-I believe in karma or cause and effect or even more simply stated 'what goes around, comes around'. In my life, what I have given has come back to me and often in ways that are many times more powerful than my original act. That's been a powerful teacher. Even though sometimes in my youth I thought I 'got away with something' in time, the lesson came back to haunt me.
I don't not say what I need to say, and when it comes to things that I perceive as injustices I can be very vocal and have a strong voice. I've simply learned to ask my higher self, particularly before acting in anger or when my initial instinct might be to want to be hurtful. I really believe what we do to another we are doing to ourselves.
Writing from phone so awkward. ... happy 2nd anniversary from Penelope and I now in flagstaff... read "old turtle" again which was read at our wedding. Always moves us. Highly appropriate to this at this time. Sedona is next for us in our healing/cleansing/awakening/activating journey right now. Will hold gary and noa and all of you in our hearts as we open to the universe and the ALL. Loving you, my global family