How can word encompass the depth of being? They are wholly inadequate at the task of transferring such infinity... Only when we align, when beings tune to eachother does union/communion arrive. We leave that state? we forget the language of being as one... as being together. Then we experience the being of separate......................... There is oneness and the barriers to block it, wispering threw the cracks Love You
and here is a song
and link incase that does not show up ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs0GvGnKJ9U
Although I'm not usually a fan of that genre of music, I really like Tool and find that both the music and lyrics resonate at different times of my life.
Today, in Schism, these lyrics stuck out for me:
Cold silence has a tendency to atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers
Lately I've been feeling kind of cold and silent in general. At work, I'm friendly but keep my deep emotions below the surface. At the Gathering Spot, I read everything here but I also feel a distance and in the past few months I seldom feel the inspiration to share. Instead I feel a hollow emptiness in my chest and a mixture of fear and sadness. The lyric speaks to me because I currently feel separated from my capacity to feel and act compassionately.
To observe this mindfully, I see that everything is what it is, and this feeling is allowed to be here, and my depression, anxiety, and shyness are allowed to be here. I desire to open my heart more to others and share my true loving self more authentically with others, but I don't see the bridge that will take me from where I am to where I want to be. What I can do today is see that both exist fully: the current reality and the co-created deeper truth - neither needs to be denied, negated, condemned, or feared. My current state can be deeply honoured and even appreciated because it has a divine purpose. In saying that, I feel something stir within in recognition that part of the suffering lies within the belief that my current state and the presence of fear and insecurity means that there is still more I need to improve or change, that in this moment, I'm not "good enough". What if embracing my current state fully and loving my tenderness, frailty, fear, and uncertainty is what I've really been waiting for? Can I completely go "all in" with myself and forget about striving?
I especially like the song Parabola:
This body holding me
Reminds me of my own mortality
Embrace this moment, remember
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion
Love, Trish
Dearest Trish,
I don't see you as one that sits in judgement of others, in saying 'in this moment I'm not good enough' you sit in judgement of yourself. Not necessary sweet sister, in this moment you are perfect, whole and beautiful-perfect in your imperfection and just as you are to be-in this moment.
In the next moment you will be exactly what you align your soul and spirit with, again no judgement necessary or even helpful! so from a song I grew up with...'Love the one you're with'...(YOU!)
and another...."you are soooo beautiful to meeeeeee, can't you seeeeeee". ;) kristyne
Thank you Kristyne, and thank you Noa for your post about the heart-wall. It's hard to look back and describe what has been going on for me in the past week.
Allowing what is here and accepting what is so. Acknowledging the pain in the heart that causes the heart-wall to be formed, experiencing the memories and emotions of each layer and then letting them go.
One day amidst the tears and feeling the pain of the insecurity and the feeling of being "not good enough", there was a flash of insight and a feeling of everything coming together, all my past and future experiences culminating to the present moment and a feeling of certainty that said, "This is it. Everything is finished. Everything is fulfilled." And then I realized that in all those past moments where I didn't feel like I could control how I was acting, where I wanted to be more loving, less stressed, more caring, less shy, etc. Somehow I realized that although I don't understand it, it was all perfect and I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do.
I contemplated what that might mean - should I then stop trying so hard to better myself? Are evil acts perfect as well and should they just be allowed? I don't have the answers, but I do know that I put myself in a lot of suffering when I try to go against what is so and I add to my pain when I put myself down when I act out of habit. Somehow I realize that it's about having a deeper trust and relationship with life and letting go of the obsession of whether I'm doing the right thing or not. Understanding that light would not be experienced without dark allows me to trust that even my darker aspects will be used by Life in service to the lessons and opportunities we are all presented with.
Peace and love to you all! In this moment, everything is perfect.
Love, Trish