I was going to put this in healing/energy requests, but I can actually feel the team already is supporting me in that way, so thank you all so much from every aspect of my heart 
I am having some trouble with my adrenaline the past month or two. As I said in another post, most recently I'm trying to deal with some attachment issues, particularly to drinking alcohol, coffee, smoking tobacco, and partnering. It feels like I'm in alignment with what I want to be doing here, but I'm having an awful time with my body. If I don't smoke, I get a panic attack. If I do smoke I get a panic attack. I am just one big panic attack anyway hahahaha! Again, as I posted before, I'm clear that it's not any kind of qualitative issue about myself whether I do this or not, it's just that I can feel my body doesn't like it any more, not serving me, time ta go. Also I can feel the adrenaline is damaging it worse than the drugs probably are. I also am not sure if it's this spiritual work I've been doing recently, I have noticed I'll have this sort of issue when I've been going through "transformational" experiences. The recent "journey" that I did really showed me how much work I still have to do around the idea of partnering, I'm really falling apart on this one, I just can't stop thinking about this wife and children that I have/had/will have. I've been connecting sporadically with an "akashic soul mate" for the past several years, through different incarnations, and there is always mutual recognition of the "essence", but something keeps disrupting the "merger", if all that makes sense. I'm not sure, but I think there's a connection because I started having this problem hard-core when I felt that energy coming on again about the middle of June. A lot of this "poetry" has been inspired by that "muse", so feel free to examine that energy and let me know what I might not be seeing there, because I'm always finding new things in that material. I also am feeling a lot of anxiety about "the terra situation", I can't seem to shake it no matter how much I am consciously aware that it's all ultimately sacred. I got some wonderful grounding techniques and healing from a member of the team, but none of it is working anymore, none of my techniques or tools seem to be working (Although my ability to act on the "external" universe seems to have increased dramatically, oddly enough).
I can feel a lot of good feedback already and don't hold it back. I am divine genius just like all of us, but I forget things and I appreciate reminders, just like all of us .
LOVE and JOY~~~~~~
Jamie,
I share some of your same challenges, so I asked if I could help you or if you could help me...
Credo Mutwa, an African shaman related a story about how way back in time we were led into a cave by ETs and came out sexed, as in man and woman. If we see this as we were split into two then I am one half of a Whole. What comes to mind is that we all have a strong desired to find our perfect mate in this world. After much trial and error (partnering) we begin to sense that 'my' mate is our connection to our spiritual self. Yes we can all hope to find the one who will complete us and live within a beautiful relationship here in duality but can we ever experience the Ideal? or just come close to that?
The longing to find the part that is missing in me, (and I have longed believed that its 'out there' in a female package), is the illusion of 3D. In a sense it is out there, but for Me to be complete I would have to merge with everything that is 'out there'! As in make me One with everything (or make everything One with me).
Well so much for philosophizing, now, down to the practical part - Let us find our joy in life, our passion. I can only believe that it will be some form of Service To Others. In practicing that service we are giving that part of ourselves that we do have to others. That will undoubtedly attract those who need and want what we have, to us. They will be so very grateful that someone helped them get just what they needed when they needed it the most. In this process the one who might choose us for a mate will also be attracted to our endeavors, for if I have this right he/she will be feeling the same thing about themselves as we are feeling about ourselves.
Oh, and BTW, the joy and passion of doing our dharma will natually feed our adrenals (and support us in the world)...
PS I sense that 'she' is already in the higher planes, and whatever you think She is or is not doing is a message to look at whatever it is that you are or are not doing.
In La'kesh,
~Zack
Credo Mutwa, I'm familiar with that fellow :) This is very good information Zack, thank you endlessly. Thing is that I feel like yes, it's already out there in the other worlds, so that's one reason I'm so curious why it's not manifesting on the physical. And also, yes, that is actually the idea for me, merge with everything, one thing at a time :D We'll see what happens, the connection was already supposed to have happened a while ago, but it's always possible to misinterpret "signs".
Dear JaiMe,
Habits will leave when you and they are ready. As for a woman to complete you......may be your own feminine side that you need. women are more drawn to those not too needy....not to generalize but I think this goes for men too. The sure way to find something is to quit looking for it. This mate may already be in your life.......as friend.The package may not be what you are looking for. Trust the universe to bring what you need.Be open.
Love,Mary
JaiMe,
The adrenals are the perfect example of how intimately the spirit and body are intertwined. Adrenalin rush gives us panic attack; emotions give adrenaline rush. This is controlled mainly through my current favorite part of the brain, the amygdala. When we're "stressing out" about things, typically our adrenals are either exhausted through constant exposure to poor diet, stress, insufficient rest, etc., or else they're going haywire in a self-perpetuating physical/emotional loop. I can give you some specific information on nutritional support.
One way to self-test for adrenal function, if you have access to a blood-pressure cuff, is to take your BP after lying down for five minutes, and then again immediately after standing up. If your standing pressure is much lower than the lying-down BP, suspect adrenal malfunction in proportion to the drop in blood pressure.
There are two areas where supplements can have benefits far beyond what you'd expect. One is digestion: get your digestive system working efficiently, and a whole cascade of illnesses and conditions may resolve themselves. The other area is antioxidants.
The two best tools for balancing the digestive system are probiotics and enzymes. A probiotic is the opposite of an antibiotic, and it consists of living flora that are necessary in the intestine for proper nutrient breakdown. Acidophilus is an example of a probiotic. Enzyme products tend to by mysterious and pricey. What you want is a well-rounded digestive enzyme supplement to take with meals, and a high-protease blend to take on an empty stomach.
Antioxidants scrounge free radicals from your system, slowing the aging process and halting cellular oxidation. This reduces stress on the body as a whole. The best wide-spectrum antioxidant I've found for the price is grapeseed extract. Others are pycnogenol, Co-Q10, and alpha-lipoic acid or ALA.
Take a good vitamin B complex with extra B3 (pantothenic acid). Vitamin C is important too...take 1-4 g daily, less if you can find a good natural C like acerola or amla.
For stress, try GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) or 5-HTP (a form of tryptophan). I like GABA. It's an amino acid with a specific calming function in the brain (it blocks a percentage of the receptors, effectively ramping down brain activity), and it's the natural form of Neurontin (gabapentin).
Among the herbs, you may find rhodiola very effective. You could also try maca. dong quai, schizandra or mushroom extracts. Rhodiola is especially good for stamina and focus, and maca is uplifting for men in particular.
Aromas can help, too. Lavender is calming, and a 5:3 blend of mandarin and bergamot is a proven stress-reducer.
All of the above is useful for physical support, but a lot of the work of managing stress is emotional and spiritual. A lot of what you talked about was attachment issues. Are you able to forgive yourself when you backslide? We all do, and it helps to have a clear idea why we hold the standards we do. As for partnering, I think the best way to find a good partner is to be a good partner. Paradoxically that can mean learning to be contented alone.
Not to toot my own horn, but if you go to my website www.indigodave.com and click on the "Two-Minute Vacation" link on the main page, you'll find some relaxation and meditation techniques you may find helpful. The work with the amygdala may prove especially valuable in learning to control that fight-or-flight response. I didn't invent anything there, however: some of the credit has to go to Fred Burks and the TC. The bit about sacred love is an essential fire that lit up so many things I was trying to do at the time that I learned it from the TC. Other parts came from various sources and it all works powerfully for me.
8-D
--- Post removed at author's request ---
JaiMe,
There is a hands-on technique which is incredibly soothing and restorative for the kidneys and adrenals. Although it can be self administered, that is awkward and rather uncomfortable, unless you are a very flexible yogi. I'll describe how it works when I offer it to another and you can probably get how it can be done to oneself.
First have the person lie down, on their back, on a bed or a mat where there is enough room for me to sit on either side of them. Give them a blanket because as they relax, they may get cooler. Guide their attention out of their mental activity and into their somatic experience-- the weitght and texture of the blanket, the sensation of contact pressure, temperature where their body makes contact with the mat, etc. Ask them to follow their exhale out into space and notice the stillness at the end of the exhale, before the inhale begins, noticing just how that stillness feels in their body--where do they notiece it? What does it feel like? Etc.
After letting them know you are going to do it, slide a hand in, under the kidney on the side of the body you are on (the kidneys are almost the size of your fist, kidney bean shaped and located at the base of the ribs about an inch or so away from the spine. The adrenals are a small, yellow-ish triangular "hat" on top of the kidneys. They tuck in under the diaphragm which attaches to the bottom ribs and domes, up, under the heart; when we are in an alarmed state &/or the adrenals are exhausted, the kidneys constrict and pull up, under the ribs a bit.) If I am on their left side, I usually use my left hand under their kidney and place my rignt hand, gently and firnly on their right shoulder. (This provides a further sense of support and help them with a sense of self-containment)
Just hold your hand there and endeavor, with your consciousness to let the kidney/adrenal gland know you are there to offer it some support for a while. In my experience it usually takes 5 -10 minutes before the kidney even begins to acknowledge my presence and my offer and, tentatively begin to relax. Usually within 20 to 25 minutes it feels as though the kidney has relaxed and dropped down into my hand and it feels like the blood is flowing more freely. Once this has happened, the person receiving, will begin to notice a very soothing, organically yummy feeling throughout their whole organism.
After a while, I check in with the kidney and the person to find out whether it feels ok for me to move to the other side; often, the response is, "Not yet; a few more minutes..." When it is ok, I move to the other side and repeat. Initially I ask them to notice and articulate the difference between the two side. then I ask them to move back and forth between the two sides, staying with the actual sensations (i.e. not their labels or story about them) for three or four breaths on the side that now feels comfortable and good and then checking in with the less comfortable side for a heart beat or two before pendulating back to the more comfortable side again. This side will usually relax a lot quicker.
If you can do this for a friend and ask them to do it for you you'll feel a million times better than if you just convers or watch tv all night.
If you choose to try this, please let me know how this goes.
Blessings,
John
Dave, I actually have a doctor/spiritual advisor who has perscribed me the same set of enzymes and supplements, so there ya go :) I have been feeling an urge to be doing a lot of these sorts of things (Cranberry-grapeseed tonics, etc), it's just getting out of that viscious cycle of feeling too sick to go shopping, it will come :) Emotionally I feel pretty fine about myself when I slip (I'm "perfectly imperfect", lol), except that I am being told by all my senses that if I don't stop what I'm doing I will die. That's not my preference so I'm a bit frustrated. Also there is something stuck up in my nasal cavity which is greatly exacerbating this, I've had it removed several times but it keeps "re-appearing", not sure what to do about it but it is definitely helping to trigger adrenal attacks and it makes me gag unless I drink. I dunno, it seems also a slight possibility that someone has been giving me drugs and interviewing me (Found what looked like track marks on my arm and I remember answering questions under a hypnotic state, but could always be a dream/coincidence), so that can't be good for this either. So far as the partnering perspective, all I can say is that it feels like I'm in alignment with everything I need to be, and actually if there is a part of myself I feel like I've been denying during my lifetime, it's the sacred "masculine" aspect of myself. I've been female a lot and I have a strong distaste for "male-ness" in it's current form. Perhaps this is part of it, there is a seething anger and frustration, a highly combative feeling that I do not know the origin of or how exactly to express. Maybe it's time to get a punching bag, eh hahahaha!?
All love to all of you, and thank you for all the great advice. I'll be on it and let you all know how I fare, but may be some time, someone has taken my internet connection at home out of commission and I'm not sure how long it will take to repair.