The lighter and 'let-us-not-take-ourselves-so-seriously' side of life
Love
U
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting,
or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of
time.
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of
time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.
asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start
with.
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start
with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a
hillbilly.
hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating the Bozone layer,
unfor-tunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating the Bozone layer,
unfor-tunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near
future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.
the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very
high.
high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.
are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal
coolness.
coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off
all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's
a serious bummer.
all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's
a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event
of getting through the day consuming only things that are
good for you.
of getting through the day consuming only things that are
good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no
action.
action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider
web.
performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider
web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast
out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The
Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to
its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
common words.
Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to
its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for
common words.
1. coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one
coughs.
coughs.
2. flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how
much weight one has gained.
much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having
a flat stomach.
a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while
drunk.
drunk.
5. willy-nilly, (adj.) impotent.
6. negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the
door when wearing only a nightgown.
door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, (v.) to walk
with a lisp.
with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored
mouthwash.
mouthwash.
9. flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks
up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding
hairline.
hairline.
11. testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an
exam.
exam.
12. rectitude, ( n.) the formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.
adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, (n.) a
Rastafarian proctologist.
Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, (n.) a person who
sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after
death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
there.
death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck
there.
16. circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by
Jewish men.
shorts worn by
Jewish men.
Some of the best "less is more" wit I have seen in a very long time!!!!!
Thank you for posting it - I am making copies to distribute
(uh oh, does that mean lack of tribute???)
Love, Chris
Maybe it should be re-stribute, or does that have something to do with a river?
Love U :)
Ursuala, these were so funny! LOL and LOL, again.
Thanks
I think we all get too serious sometimes and I feel we need to lubricate our funny bone more often!
Love the funnies you and Chris post too.
Thanks guys
Love
Ursula
Check this out
Whatever blows your hair back!