Uncommon Wisdom

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last… thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

davelambert's picture

I for one really appreciate your injections of humor. Keep it up.


lefty-dave's picture


That was cool...i needed that today !!

penny_stone's picture

Thanks for sharing this with us ~ very funny! Nice to chuckle a bit.

Love & light,
Penny :-)

Thanks, they are really funny, very clever......


--- Post removed at author's request ---

--- Post removed at author's request ---

davelambert's picture

I thougt of what the second scientist said when the first scientist remarked, "Oh, look! Those sheep have just been sheared."

"Why, so they have. On this side."

Laugh often. Laugh well. Laugh now.

A snip of history...

The chief defect of Henry King was chewing little bits of string.
At last he swallowed some which tied itself in ugly knots inside.
Physicians of the utmost fame were called at once, but when they came
They answered as they took their fees, "There is no cure for this disease.
Henry will very soon be dead." His parents gathered round his bed
Lamenting his untimely death - when Henry with his latest breath
Cries, "Oh my friends, be warned by me that breakfast, dinner, lunch and tea
Are all the human frame requires!" And so the wretched child expires.

Yes, it's a real song - a lullaby in fact, which my children loved when they were small.

Did I say Henry. This predates the original SNL by a decade or more...

The Frog
by Henry Gibson

Is the frog the farmer's friend?
I don't know.
Is the frog the farmer's friend?
I don't know.
Is the frog the farmer's friend?
Ask me again, I'll tell you the same.
Is the frog the farmer's friend?
I don't know.

Sharing sacred laughter,


The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"