Sexual Transformation

What you are describing, Fred, is similar to a technique used by psychologists to help heal sexual trauma and frigidity.  Partners are instructed to lovingly touch each other everywhere except on the genitals.  This practice lasts for several weeks or a month or so.  By the time they finally touch each other's sex organs the sensual sensations are intense and healing.

I also read about a technique wherein a man suppresses his orgasm over and over again until he finally explodes into an enormous climax.  This technique takes practice to achieve (and patience, of course).  But in addition to heightening the man's pleasure, it also gives the woman time to reach her own climax.

I haven't tried either of these methods, so I can't speak from experience.  But I'd love to have a partner who moved beyond the old bump and grind into a more meaningful and reciprocal, sensual experience.

Maybe you should offer workshops, Fred. 

Thank you Fred for a beautifully sexual post. May I share this with my dear friend ?

This very dear friend, a lady I met online not long after the separation from my wife, has weathered the many storms of my BiPolar existence, and through this time has been the most open women I have known in regard to sexuality, indeed to Sacred Sexuality. She has a deep and profound understanding of how true total conscious connection at a sexual level has the ability to free us and excite us. The words you share above seem almost to be coming from her.

I have only just recently really begun to understand what she means to me, and how we were definetly meant to share this RIDE together. It is unlikely we will ever live together, yet will always be together.

Thanks again Fred, words I for one was ment to read at this time

Thanks for inviting me to look into this issue, i draw so much connections with this, iv been just sharing myself, i am letting it be known who im attracted to but that im fine with it not going anywhere, a phrase came to mind, "im ok with you not loving me that way can you be ok with me loving you yet not needing anything ? thank you"... im much happier since doing this

my love life seems to come at me in bursts of open and then solitude (closing" at least romantically wise")... what really comes to mind is well the girl that has taken up most of my mind lol my long long time friend that iv had a crush on all my life, it was just after my deep healing experience to open up to love, i realized i was putting it on the back burner "not paying it attention" and it was contributing to my stress. I opened up to love incredibly deeply as i open up those's feelings with a desire to heal, love, and forgive fully and unconditionally it was my signal i was ready, within that same week my love heart connections were being established that was pure and free.

Then my life long love came into my world suddenly, she was in a state in which she needed love and (im guessing) the universe knew i was the right one for this, yet it was apparent to me that although i love her so incredibly strongly, that its expression i had to hold it to what would help her most, she needed inner time and love but not that type, not the romantic type, i did not mind i wanted to assist her in her healing as much as i could in love that she could accept . I let it known how iv felt (years worth of loving her let was left mostly unexpressed most of my life was allow out) there was acknowledgement from both are sides and acceptance as we continued opening up.

Definitely the most powerful experiences iv currently had was just being right by her and allowing my love to love and not need. It lasted about 2 or 3 weeks, i truly don't know who healed more, the greatest gift iv ever had was in giving her love, in trying to care for her and be there when she needed someone to be (some might think that a burden to me it was the greatest gift iv so far ever had, one that profoundly has opened me to deep love) words don't do this justice thinking about it has got me to tears,... some time past and i had a few minutes with her and when i look into her eyes i see she sees me deep inside from what we shared i know in my eyes she sees the love and beauty i see in her always... i miss her

iv had a burst of strong love connections with little romance. now once more my world seems silent again, rich with the understanding of how deep a connection can go yet with seemingly no one as of yet to share that with, i must admit its somewhat getting to me. yet the time will come again, probably waiting for me to open deeper within myself once again to let that go so i can go on...

Much love my friends    

    I learned the Taoist techniques from my qiqong teacher a long time ago. They would train the young men, as they recognized that urge you are speaking of, of the man to ejeculate once he is aroused.  Later,  i found a great way to describe it , in another book. It spoke of the need for a woman's energy to pass through most of her other organs before reaching her womb. If that is true, then most people are doing it wrong, haha! It also explains why people are exhausted after making love, rather than invigorated. If the time is taken, and both of the parties are "ready", there is an energy exchange that takes place which is not just healing, but life enhancing for both. The man doesn't even have to ejaculate, the energy is exchanged within. The man is trained to lead it up the spine,nothing really complicated, it just takes both partners attention to each other, and what is going on in the moment. I have been lucky enough to have two partners like this, where we were so aligned, and patient, that we experienced amazing things. That great force you are speaking of, when controlled, is so powerful, it is their secret to rejuvenation. The woman gets to experience many orgasms, at different levels. In our case, we would make love for hours on end, and I found that I often never ejaculated, but experienced many things, which I would call orgasms, much more intense, one leading to another. The most incredible thing would happen sometimes, where I couldn't tell who I was,,,me or her! I will also ad that, with one of these partners, we also abstained for at least a few weeks before we finally went there, like you did.

I would also like to add that, trying to initiate it by talking about it with a partner can be a real downer,ha! It takes the sensuality out of it. It is best when the two people have a natural understanding of each other, those words not spoken, and are just well aligned that way. They are more likely to find their way to that place. 

That dynamic tension is your life force, and I agree, taming it will change your life! An ecample of this would be the comparison between Buddists and Taoists on this subject. The Buddists would sit and meditate for years to learn how to lead the sexual energy up the spine, over the crown, to the pituitary gland, so it could be distributed to the glands. The Taoists, on the other hand, would tie a silk scarf around the base of the scrotum, and hang bricks from it! The sensation of the weight pulling down opens the channel from the perineum gland up the spine, and it is very easy to connect the mind to the sensation, and lead the energy up the spine. I have even seen a man swing a full grown woman on a platform, tied to a silk scarf , from his scrotum,,,,yikes! So, the Taoist method saves many years of practice, and adds the integration of the physical with the mind. It is why I prefer Taoism. When i was lucky enough to have the right partner to practice this, I grew in so many ways. The energy I conserved, and cultivated, showed in every aspect of my life! just as you describe....

  Someone once said that making love is the closest we become to being gods! Unfortunately, most men learn about sex from other men, or porn, so it is hard for them to know any different. I hope that you will post this on other forums as well,,,,L,,,,T 

  We didn't do that either! The first time I went to a workshop with Yang jwing ming(just for men),,,knowing most of us had probably read his translations of the old transcripts,, he started the seminar off by suggesting we do it! haha! It got a good laugh. The sensation  is easily obtainable by pulling down around the base of the scrotum,,,it opens that channel right up! Tying it off with a silk scarf makes for an even pull. The weights were to build endurance. But there are several other easy exercises men can do to help them in that area.....haha! I remembered after I wrote that earlier, there is a guy on youtube pulling a plow,,,an old farm plow, usually pulled by an ox). He is pulling it from , yup! you guessed it, a cloth tied around that spot. I think that that also (hope you don't mind me saying so}, stimulates the base of the penis, which most men never even get hard. Sometimes it is our partners, who just don't know about it, but , getting the erection to the base of the penis will increase longevity several fold, which would make a lot of women happy! haha! Just look at an anatomy chart and it is easy to see why. It is imperative if you want to abstain from ejaculating also. It touches the perineum back there, and connects the whole operation . Hate to talk anatomy, but these simple things can help a lot of men who just don't know! And with their confidence lifted, and a little more knowledge about themselves, they are more likey to become a better partner, and tend to their partner better. Learn reverse breathing, and it is very easy to transfer that energy during intercourse, and your partner will definitely notice! Reverse breathing is how you breathe in the womb, and when you are born, until sometime in your infancy, when the lungs completely take over. If you stand, feet shoulder width apart, and do abdominal breathing for a few minutes, stomach expanding as you inhale,,contracting on exhale,,,,then you can try switching ,,,,stomach contracting a little when you inhale, expanding as you exhale. And, when you inhale, gently lift on the perineum , which is the spot between the genitals and the anus.This breathing is the secret of Chinese martial arts and medicinal qiqong. If you take it slow, don't force it, stay soft and calm, you will find that, on the exhale, it is very easy to send a huge amount of energy to any part of the body... If you have an injury, send it there, lead it with the mind, like you are drawing water through a tube. In intercourse, give it to your partner, and they will reciprocate naturally. That is the best way to lead a partner to the magic of it, as it is impossible not to sense it. 

And I also find talk very stimulating, but not about the techniques. But, any talk that aligns you in the moment , and brings awareness of the breathing will help alot. Talk about breathing, it's such a powerful tool for meditation, to come to the present, and that seems to be what it's all about,,,,,thanks again for the great post,,,L,,,,T

  I need to add something,,about reverse breathing. First, it is never to be forced, or rushed. It is better to only do a few breaths correctly than to try to force the sensation. 

 Think about what you do when someone sneaks up behind you and GRABS you real fast! You reverse breathe, just for a second. You gasp, and the stomach goes in on the inhale! It is the same when a burst of speed is released in a martial art. The breathing is flowing with the movements, then will shift to reverse breathing to manifest the energy for the blow.  In hands on healing , it is the same, use a reverse breath to lead it to the hands on contact with the patient.I find this to be one of the ultimate examples of duality, or yin and yang, as the intention that leads the breath decides how it manifests, and it can change in one breath.Obviously, applying that to all your actions, including lovemaking could be very beneficial. It's so beautiful. Still, you have to have that chemistry with a partner, or none of it works!! haha! 

Also, I believe that one of the techniques that the Geishas were taught (to keep their men from ejaculating) was to apply pressure on the perineum. So, lifting there, with the mind, gives the same effect, and is better,as it is under your control.

Mr. Yang used to make a point to mention in his lectures that there are no old documents on qiqong for women, as , like most cultures, the women were left out of the arts back then. But, a woman's body will naturally exchange this energy with a man if he has been patient enough to allow her body to circulate her energy before penetrating her. If she wants to help her partner "prepare" for the long run, she should focus more on the base of the penis, instead of the other end, which is most common,,ha! It will increase the blood flow into the area, and build endurance. 

Hello my friends recent developments have got me seeking for tools to aid in the transformation and utilization of my sexual energy in new ways.  This resonates with me "Once a man is sexually aroused, the powerful drive towards ejaculation for many is overwhelming", ever sense becoming aware of my sexuality iv locked into a routine where i release it often with gaps often no longer then a week(often daily) , even with a sexual partner my urges did not slow down in any noticeable way. I have been working with these energies in new ways, i accept them as they are. I even see exciting potential in ways to aline with them to serve and teach me, however id like more control over its expression to utilize and redirect for new purposes.

Iv begun my seeking into ways to do just that with a few tantric exercises, i like the effect they have had so far yet would like more to explore and possible resources to pursue  that may aid in that quest and thought you would be a good community to offer suggestions. I will seek and explore on my own but i value your suggestions...  Much peace and love

Hi Fred.  How do we access past lessons once we've completed the course?  I'm not sure if I even remember my password.

http://www.calmdownmind.com/channel-your-sexual-energy/

i found this very helpful... by focusing on my sexual energy(exploring it) from my calm inner mind "meditation-ish space" i now find it easing to redirect its flow and expression (kinda takes care of itself)... im aware others have tried to inform me of this it just now clicked ty 

much love all

What a great website, Thomas!  I especially like the article Overcoming Fear Through Understanding Reality.  It explains the role of ego and how to balance the forces of light and dark in a way that I find very useful. 

Lots of good stuff here!

My biggest challenge through the study of all of this is probably sacred sexuality.  Not the concept, as that isn't hard for anyone to accept, but the fact that the energy is tied into so many things.  Wilhelm Reich called it orgone energy and it underlies all that is.  It's why our polarity with children or childhood is so intense and the need to "grow up" is really just our need to put a leash on that energy.  And also the main reason for the beauty of children.  They are free with it.  But since we tend to neglect it's right development, we're hit with a big whammy when adolescence comes on and changing hormones and chemicals steer that energy straight into... SEXUAL urges.  Of course that is one of the uses of our energy, but it is only one.  For me, I think I need to relate the energy to everyone and everything.  When I go out in the world, and I am physically closer to all of those people out there, on some level we are "having sex".  It may not be physical, but there is still an exchange of energy on many different levels (including that one), so...  Also might be why so many writers and artists have profound experiences of nature and why the church decided to make physicality and nature "evil".  When one is out in nature, especially away from civilization, one cannot help but be aware of the power and INARGUABILITY of it.  There is no point of contingency or debate, it just IS.  Sort of like our sexual energy.  No matter how people might lable it, repress it, or attempt to control it, it just IS.  And we need to express it somehow, or "bad" things happen.

There is also the tantric application, and I would like to explore those avenues more with my partner and wife, Penelope.  But, like her paramour in the Odyssey, I've spent many years on the Isle of Calypso, and it's time I finally pulled the veil from these eyes.  There's a bow somewhere with my name on it, and I hope I still have the strength to pull that string.  And by the time I am called to do so, that my aim is true.

Much of what you share makes sense to me, great thoughts, i enjoyed seeing it threw the way you put it, i much agree with the INARGUABILITY of nature, and the point were always having energy exchanges...

reminds me of the time i literally saw the emotions waves permeating off people and there interactions from one to another, tension was a slow but thick emittance "one guy walking across the room was the source at the time" and effected everyone differently, some peoples energies did not give acceptance to it, the energy was brushed off like a shield somewhat and others had it mingle with there's and then they got tense visible for just a moment when it reached them, and laughter wow i felt something huge building up on the right top corner of the room "a suppressed laugh that grew is what it was until it burst out of the person" it emitted threw out the large room fast "maybe because it was also projected into sound (idk)" and had the power of a tidal wave i felt it when it hit me like it was something physical and it made me immediately smile had a dance like quility to it. Laughter energy seemed to be excepted into everyone's energy fields, it was a wild night did not turn off until the next day, i was not on any drugs, i just had a very in tune moment i could feel the people in the room even the room itself, more like the room was an extension of my skin i could feel when it was being walked on by the more powerful energy emitters at the time, even when way behind me and out of sight i knew where they were..) anyway i side tracked lol

i wanted to say i believe you will always have the strength to pull that string :) but dont let that be a reason to wait on it

Thanks brother

That's what I'm talkin about.  It's one of my goals to see and be aware of those energies.  Be able to move through a crowd and disperse clouds and misperceptions.  Be able to lightly touch someone on the back or shoulder when passing and "lighten their load".  Be especially good anti-warmongering tactics.  Wait until just before some crowd has been whipped into a frenzy, then swiftly and silently move throught it contacting the major players...  A few seconds later everyone wonders "what was that?" and "what were we doing, anyway?"...  ;)       Raisin the bar!  Saw your other awesome post on permaculture and farming...  Wilhelm Reich had developed technology where he could focus that energy, chase away clouds or u.f.o.s, and actually caused it to rain in a part of the desert that hadn't really seen rain in years.  I did some permaculture in a desert oasis called Wind Spirit down by Tucson.  Lots of available real estate down in the southwest to try out some of those ideas!