My dear friends, spiritual brothers and sisters,
I ask you to hold a sacred place in your hearts for Ray, my life mate and beloved partner for the last 30 years. I took him to the emergency room last evening when he was experiencing extreme pain in his abdomin and lower chest and forceful vomiting. The doctor had prescribed some medicine for this which didn't do any good and had said to go to the ER if it didn't abate.
After 6 hours in the ER and numerous test the doctors determined that he was experiencing acute panchreatitis. He was admitted to the hospital and has been undergoing treatments but is still in severe pain and discomfort and is succumbing to a loss of hope.
I ask that all of you use whatever prayers, healing energies and high intentions to surround him with divine healing energy and recuperative love.
With unending gratitude, I thank you.
Will Do big brother! Its funny how the prayer begins welling up and flowing within even before reading the post is finished. Feels much like "joining in" to something that is already in progress... Holding dear Ray in the rays of Love and Light, in and of One, Chris
I have just sent healing for Ray, hope it helps. I will keep you both in my thoughts and here's a massive hug for you (((((((((((hug))))))))))))))
with love valx
Dearest Berry At Times like these there are no words to be spoken.
Please know the most powerful prayer lays in the stillness of divine silence.
PEACE AND LOVE
I'm envisioning a ray of healing, loving light enveloping Ray and you both healthy and joyous.
and please update us on his condition berry
Joining in with my prayers, Berry. And dreaming of your post with the good news.
Thanks for sharing that important information, Berry. I'm holding Ray in my heart.
With love and healing flowing,
As of today Sunday, this morning they moved Ray to ICU. He was having respiritory problems and was very disoriented. Treatement was immediately started. I wasn't able to talk to him today because he was sedated while they were doing whatever it was they were doing. This afternoon a doctor, a renal specialist called me saying his kidneys were not functioning properly. I avoid using the word "failing" as I have intentions and affirm that this is not so. In any case his condition has not improved but deteriorated today.
I am having more difficulty keeping my spirits up than I have ever experienced. I avoid negative thoughts but they continually keep sneaking in. Thoughts of life insurance, where it the will, such negative and unnecessary thoughts which only drag me down more. I am human after all!!! When one's loved ones are involved it is difficult to maintain a bright positive attitude, but I am determined Ray and I will not be victims of negative thought. So it is and it is so. Our choice is our choice not the default results of negative thought.
Thank you all for your loving thoughts, prayers and affirmations.
Synchronicity my friend, I had made a vow earlier today to get back to meditating on a daily basis, and for tonight I have a focus. I felt the same way as Chris mentioned when I read your post, the intentions began to flow right away as I read your words. Please count on my best heartfelt energy being send to you both this evening.
I'll include Ray in my daily healing mediation. And you.
A difficult and painfull personal journey for you both Dear Berry.
Peace and Love Guide you Both.
You have no idea how much I appreciate all of your concern and prayers. I have certainly been in a divided state of mind the last 24 hours. I swing between discouragement and hope each moment. My mind begins to be concerned about final arrangements etc and then in anger I put those thoughts away and see Ray regaining his health and having more years for us to enjoy each other.
I think that I must find a balance though. The possibility that he will pass over is high and that requires my attention to things if that is the outcome. On the other hand, I must, even while considering those things keep my desire and intention and prayers on his healing. I have so many loving people along with you all lifting him up in prayer and the hand of The Creator is all powerful to provide healing miracles if that is the proper end results. If Ray has in his spirit chosen this time to pass over then nothing we can do will change that. It is his free will to end his physical life here and move on to a higher realm. I of all people should realize that. It is a certain natural selfishness in me that wants him to stay with me. I face for the first time the loss of someone who is so loved and a part of myself and though others in my family have died, I took the passing in the higher regard, that they were only moving on. With Ray, I have a deeper emotional and psychological investment and this is more painful than any of those other losses.
As I said, I must seek balance in this thing. It is the trial which will prove my oneness with all that is, realizing that even if he does pass, he and I and everyone/thing are one with All That Is and there is no separation.
Last night, I received a call from one of the doctors who treated him before during his last massive blood clot. Dr. Powell is a loving and wonderful doctor and she offered me her deepest compassion and sympathy while she spoke with me. She told me though that Ray is bleeding from one of the veins in the pancreas and that they had to do some sort of x ray which required the infusion of a particular dye in order to determine where that bleeding was occuring. This in turn is going to cause further problems with his kidneys. I was also told that he was requiring blood transfusions.
Needless to say this did not help my state of mind. I and the dogs and cat managed to get some rest last night none the less.
I will keep you updated. He is still under heavy sedation today and the nurse told me this morning that he has not improved but it has not gotten worse either, which is some ray of hope.
Love and light to all of you with my sincerest gratitude
Berry, I surround you with Love and Light and a Steadying HUG. I Bless Your HEART with Love, Dear One. I surround your beloved friend Ray with Love and Light. Let the Light and Love of the All assist in that which is of the Highest Good.
Berry I am sorry to hear about Ray's and your challenge. I am sending love & light & praying for both of you to find peace and ease with the emerging process.
I was listening to a few of the guests at the Project Camelot September 2009 Awake and Aware Conference, and this very touching personal experience shared by Mariam Delicado during her talk was so fitting (for all of us gathering around you and Ray) that I had to post it immediately. Listen and you will see what I mean, personally and in general for all of us going forward...
YouTube - MIRIAM DELICADO at the Project Camelot Awake and Aware Conference, Sept 2009
I feel for you right now. I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be to face all of this and keep functioning in your day to day life. Please know that I join everyone here in holding you and Ray in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending you both big, warm hugs, too. I love you, dear brother.
With deep love and warmest wishes,
P.S. Please keep us posted as you can.
Ray transitioned at 8:15 this evening, Tuesday April 20 2010.
The doctors told me to day that the life support that he was on was only prolonging the enevitible and that he had only a very slim chance of recovery and then no promise of quality life afterward. He and I had already decided that he nor I desired to be kept alive under these circumstances. After talking with his sister, we decided it was best to remove the support and let him pass peacefully without all of the discomfort. He released his spirit from the body within 45 minutes and seemed to be at peace at the last.
I had some very dear friends with me who were there at that moment and we had a prayer circle at the very moment of passing which greatly lifted my spirit and I am sure eased his passage into the higher realms.
It is a strange thing. I have been reading the life story of Edgar Cayce. The last passage which I read before going into the ICU was this quote from the Psalms, which when I read it caused me to come to tears for its exactitude and prophetic content.
"God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in times of trouble.
Therefore will we not fear, though the earth be removed, and though the moutains be carried into the middle of the sea;
Though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah.
There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God..."
I have often read recently, in various channeled messages, that many will choose to pass on in preparation for the upheavals accompanying these times. The scripture above is certainly suited for the times of trouble we are witnessing these days.
I am at this time working through the natural grief of loss of a very beloved loved one. But I know that he is only as far away from me as a thought or a whisper which gives me abundant comfort.
Thank you all for your comforting thoughts, prayers, meditations and healing intentions.
Love and Light in the name of our One Infinite Creator,
YouTube - Declan Galbraith : Till the day we meet again
Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us. I've been checking the g-spot a few times a day, on the edge of my seat, wondering how it will all turn out for you and Ray. I'm so sorry for your loss but what a blessing to have friends to surround you especially when Ray passed. And what a blessing for us all to hear your wise thoughts at times like this.
May God continue to bless you.
You have lost your lover and best friend, yet you have gained a very special angel. I'm sending you lots of love and support in this challenging time, and also inviting you to open as fully as you are ready to this wonderful new spiritual guide who I know is with you now in a very magical way.
With infinite love and warmest wishes,
I am blessed indeed to have so many dear loving souls sending love-light and bright thoughts to me in this time. I can assure you every bit of it is surrounding me with uplifting faith and energy to keep on with what is necessary at this time. I have also been surrounded by loving friends here who are ever offering any assistance or companionship while I work through this great change in my life.
It is without question a great change to loose that one who is closest to you and on whom you are trusting as a help-mate in life. I suddenly find myself having to change so many mundane routines of which I confess, I took for granted sometimes when he was doing his part. This will eventually become natural though it is going to take some effort to mold into the change. My biggest challenge will be taking care of the two dogs and the cat who are used to having 24 hours of attention with Ray being here all day. I must continue to do my nine to five.
Last night, when I got home and began to relax, I began talking to Ray as if he where physically sitting with me. I told him how much love I had for him and how already I was missing his closeness but then told him that I realize he is no further from me than he ever was, if not closer. I told him that now, he was beginning to understand all of the things which I had discussed with him about the other side, the higher realms and that now it was going to be more real to him than it is to me as I only have it from second hand reports.
I had a couple of conversations with him, and I am sure his spirit was hearing my words and feeling the love that was flowing out with them. I had an amazing sense of peace and comfort when finally I chose to go to bed. I think that the two dogs and cats were aware of the presence in the room as when it began, Harvey let out a very unusual bark, as if to say "There is something strange going on." He was aware of the energy present. Heidi the little one simply watched me intently from the hassock she was lying on at my feet, I think realizing that we were not alone. Jolie the cat jumped up on the arm of my chair and purred in my ear while this was going on.
Ray's niece and nephew were with me when I went to the funeral home this morning in to make final arrangements and that was a synchronistic blessing too as unknowingly to me, I needed witnesses to sign some the of the papers.
Thank you all again for creating such a magnificent shelter of love/light for us during this time. I am ever grateful.
Berry, I have no wise words to add to what you've already said. You're the teacher here. Blessings to you as you grow further and even more open-hearted...
Berry I am so sorry for your loss and so very pleased that you still feel so close to Ray - as Bob said you are the teacher here and I hope I can be as brave and loving as you are being.
I love that you feel that Ray is just a whisper away, I believe that too...........be safe my freind and know that my healing prayers are going out to you still.
with heartfelt love valx
I'm so sorry for your loss. I was pumping tears when you described what you have been experiencing, especially the prayer group you had at his passing over. Brilliant! I wish that we all will have that great diginity and support when we are passing too. It sounds like you are getting support (I hope enough) from those around you-your animals are clearly aware and wish to help you.
It's my belief that it does Ray credit if you ask for his help. I think Fred described my wish for you that Ray be a spiritual guide. You are in my thoughts and I say a prayer for you now.
Your friend, Brian
I am very sorry for your loss, Berry. The integrity and awareness that you have shared through this sudden and difficult experience leaves me humbled. Thank you for showing and teaching a new way. Blessings to you and Ray – Your lives have touched mine deeply.
In these last few days, I am finding that I have friends who love me whom I was not even aware of. Loving support is appearing each moment from sources I would never have expected. I myself am humbled to find that I in my open honesty and free love, have silently made so much of an impact on so many lives. I have often found myself berating myself for not being more loving and honest, for not giving more, for not being available for every soul who is in need when I have nothing to offer them.
I am discovering that life is a magnificent maze and we encounter those whom we are meant to leave with a silent blessing unknown to them or to us. The blessing returns at the most unlikely and unexpected time. While we are on that maze we pass those who may seem to be in need but their appointment with their salvation is meant to be with someone else. How intricate is the designs we have designed before we even clothed ourselves in this flesh. I continue to be in awe of this infinite mandala we call life whose pattern expands from the Source of All that Is.
Thank you, every one of you, for giving me the gift of your love and compassion. I need it as I peck myself out of the shell of the old life and into a new one which I cannot even guess about. My feathers are wet, and I am disoriented and addle brained right now but this to will develope into a stable and more fruitful existance. Though I am hesitant to say it, I will have more time to devote to growing in spirit and participating in the things I would have liked to but didn't, because Ray was not aware enough to appreciate them. Now he will be with me with full understanding!
Blessings of love and light
Dearest Berry, I hold you in the highest vibration of Love as you continue on this Earthly plane and observe Ray to be dancing in his immortal space. Sending you both Love and Light, as one, Rob.
Dearest Berry, I hold you in the highest vibration of Love as you continue on this Earthly plane and observe Ray to be dancing in his immortal space. Sending you both Love and Light, as one, Rob.
That was my first thought too Berry, that Ray would now be in a position to support you in a way he was not quite able to get to this incarnation. I remember when my brother died, and I could feel his presence like a loving and tender hand of complete serenity on my shoulder. Take beloved care dear brother of mine/ours. LLP, Chris
p.s. another thing occured to me this morning. if I have it right, we do not take all our essential energy with us to these incarnations in 3rd density, so you were/are actually there "in essence" to greet Ray, while also being "here" to be served by and assisted by Ray. I would imagine there are other aspects to how all of this works that we are not even thinking of at present...
So sorry for your loss, Berry.....
and the sadness it brings...
I feel so sad that I was not here to walk with you through this part of your journey. Know that I am sending you love and healing energy and blessings with every breath. Your grace and faith are such an incredible model of how to make it through the most difficult of times. I sense in coming times we will all find ourselves saying goodbye to someone we didn't expect to say goodbye to so soon... you've helped each of us understand that it need not be shattering.
Sending you hugs, honey. You're in my thoughts.
Much love and light,
"If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine"
Berry, I get the impression that you already know this is the case, and as many have said here, you are the master and we are the students, and I feel this quote was appropriate, even though it is from Star Wars :) As cheesey as it sounds, knowing that it is truth really makes it easier I imagine.
You have shown your own power/strength here to be immense, and only hope to aspire to your courage when I face such trying times, as we all inevitably do.
Berry-- I'm just recently back on this board and am just catching up. I think that the understanding that the ones who go ahead of us are in a better place, perhaps still sharing our space as guardians or ethereal companions is absolutely correct and very helpful for everyone involved in every transition to know.
I am also humbled to be part of this group that is so kind and supporting and clear about what the transition really means.
I would only add that I know, at an emotional level, there is a big feeling of separation and loss that is part of the the larger illusion of separation that is very difficult and takes time to heal regardless of how well we understand the nature of life and death.
Grief work is hard to contribute to in an online forum, so I hope you're able to rely on people near you (in "RL" (real life)) for support. It hits all of us at times, regardless of our understanding, so if/when it does, just allow yourself to feel it, know it's ok and natural and will heal in time.
And, for what it's worth, I wish you strength and healing.
Each day is another challenge and at the same time a new experience. Ray is ever present! How often during the day, do I wonder what's next, and the subtle thought comes to me, "here is the answer". I thrill each time I get that knowing that he is indeed right beside me, and continuing to offer love and support in my blind fumbling to travel through this change.
He particularly is giving me guidance in how to comfort the dogs. I am not a "dog person". He was, I am the cat person. They miss him incredibly and every time I come home they search to see if he has arrived with me. It breaks my heart sometimes. So I am offering more love and attention to them than I ever have. The problem, starting today, is that I must go to work. I cannot leave them in the house for up to 10 hours unattended. So.....I put both Harvey and Heidi outside this morning when I left for work at 6:30. I came home early today so I could shorten their day today but I can't do that all the time.
They are not campers. On the other hand, I kept the cat in and she was not happy either. I nearly got sneared at and hissed at when I got home and finally let her out! Oh my what is a parent to do with his unruly children???
The other change I am having to deal with is rather minor but a big change for me. I, three days a week, leave the house very early to go to the gym and workout. I can't do that anymore. I dare not leave so early as I was used to in order to make sure the dogs and cats have their food and comfort and get them outside before I leave. Fortunately I have some weight equipment here and this morning I did my workout here instead of going to the gym..What does that do, it means that I have separated myself from the fellowship I have with some very dear friends at the gym. We will continue to keep in touch but I have lost a source of social interaction which was uniquely my own.
So unexpected changes are ongoing. I am up to it and I know that during this time of Global Change we cannot expect that things will remain the same.
I am hearing of an unbelievable number of stories just like mine of unexpected illnesses and transitions out of this world. I am not surprised as I have been receiving channeled messages from sources which have said that those who were not prepared for the coming changes and ascension would choose to exit and return after the shift.
Why am I not more devastated? Because I know that this physical life is only a temporary experience in the human body and that we are indeed spiritual beings who have chosen this physicality for a time to grow spiritually. Do I grieve Ray's absence? Absolutely. Do I find myself incapacitated because he is not here physically? No, no, no! He is only as far away as a whisper, a thought, a dream. He has already been with me in dream time twice! What a wonder. I am delighted and overwhelmed when I am experiencing this cross over to his side of the spectrum.
I just heard from my brother and his lover who are planning to be with me in two weeks. I now can plan the wake I have intended to celebrate Ray's transition. I am so excited about getting our friends together to remember all of the good time we have shared and let Ray know that we are here to cheer him on with love and affection.
With that I say, Om shanti, shanti, shanti
It's wonderful that you're able to use this seeming tragedy to grow. And it's wonderful that you feel Ray's presence as support and guidance. But on that subject, I'm moved to give you the Sufi perspective on the "dead" (I am not a Sufi, but close friends are, and they explained this to me). Sufi's believe that the more we talk to and encourage the presence of our deceased loved ones, the more they feel bound to remain tethered to this material plane. So the recommendation is, when the natural mourning process is done, to encourage them to go on to whatever is next for them. Again, I know nothing about this personally, and I of course I don't know your heart and mind; I'm only passing on what I was told for whatever it may be worth.
You need to find a dog sitter to come by, mid-day to let the dogs out and play with them for a bit. Maybe you can find a high school student or retiree who would be happy to do that for a few dollars per day. Check with your vet for help. The reason I say this is because you NEED to find a way to continue at the gym. Right now more than ever, you need to have those friends in your life. The fact that the dogs have someone to play with in the middle of the day will give you peace of mind, and some flexibility to do things you need to do after work. Developing a relationship with a dog sitter now will also help if there is ever a time when you need to, or would like to go out of town on vacation or whatever. Take care of yourself in all of this. The dogs will adjust to whatever new schedule you decide on.
Much love and light,
A dog sitter is what people who work long hours employ for their dogs and cats. This is also how people who have children manage as well.
I was sorry to hear the sad news Berry.
I wish the best for you in dealing with this.
I hadn't been to this site for awhile.
In love and light,
I want to present this quote from The Autobiography of a Yogi, by Paramhansa Yogananda.
"I realized anew that God wants His children to love everything as a part of Him, and not to feel delusively that death ends all. The ignorant man sees only the unsurmountable wall of death, hiding, seemingly forever, his cherished friends (and beloveds). But the man of unattachment, he who loves others as expressions of the Lord, understands that at death the dear ones have only returned for a breathing space of joy in Him."
I thank all of you for your loving support and prayers during this time. "I know whom I have believed in."
Love and light to all
Last night I met with a monthly group who share stories of experiences of paranormal or psi stuff in their lives. I think most everyone at the Gathering Spot would feel right at home in this welcoming and discreet group. (hey-they let me in) A 90 year old woman came along last night. She told us how she had lost her sister whom she had been very close to all her life. When they were kid's and slept in the same bed, her sister used to let her put her cold feet on her. They were both artists but they never once had any competition-it was all an exploration and delight because of their bond. She said after her sister died she saw her once. Her sister appeared to her in her room in pure light and she had all the colors of the rainbow shooting from her fingertips. There was a sharp beam of bright light shooting through her body from above. She had never seen her so completely and utterly happy. (It got a little hard for her to speak at this point but she forced herself to keep going). She said her sister didn't speak but that she felt somehow her sister communicated this one thought to her. "It's more beautiful than we ever imagined!"
Well that did it! Tears all around! She said this experience was like a vision-she didn't see this with her eyes. I think most people in the group feel like a visionary experience is a valid one to be welcomed and appreciated for whatever it means to you.
(sorry Berry if I've told this story before->) A couple of month's ago I struck up a conversation with a woman I was attending a workshop on remote viewing with. She said she worked in the local hospice and I asked her about that work and she said it was very rewarding for her because she would bond with her patients a little more closely than the other staff and so sometimes when they were nearing the end, they would wait for her to come on shift. They'd smile or say: "There you are!" and shortly after, they would pass away. She might have her arm around their shoulders or just be attending to them.
It came up that her husband died about 9 months ago I think. I asked how this had effected her daily life and her family's. She'd been having trouble getting her 11 year old son to stop sleeping in her bed with her and to go back to sleeping in his own room. She didn't know exactly how to handle it so she'd spoken or prayed to her husband and asked that he make this happen for them. That night she woke up and found her husband standing next to the bed with a smile on his face. Just gazing at them. She woke up her son and he saw his dad too! When it was over, her son just climbed out of the bed and went straight back to his room to sleep and it's stayed that way since.
I had never before had anyone tell me a story like this in a one on one conversation and I was pretty stunned! It was a privilege. I've been around this woman a few times since and she seems very rational and healthy so I have come to believe she was telling me the truth and not pulling my chain!
I hope we all can have experiences that let us know the loved ones we've lost are OK and are still connected to us. It would be so profoundly comforting to me.
Twice since Ray transitioned, he has been in my dreams, in a very comforting fashion. Both were as if we were still doing the normal routines but he seemed happy and without pain. No messages other than than. So, yeah, I believe that the spirits of those who have moved to a higher level of this density can and do visit those loved ones which they have temporarily departed from, in dreams, manifestations, and in speaking to the conscious mind in synchronistic happenings. Thanks for sharing that story. It is lovely.
Thank you for those beautiful, inspiring stories, Brian!
Much love and warm wishes to you, to Berry, and to all,