A few days ago I had one of those moments of clarity, of feeling and observing my separatist illusory ego as it was running a typical mental conditioning program. And then I lost the sense of profound clarity just as fast as I got the glimpse of what I saw happening with such clarity. I should have begun writing a note to self immediately. I had the feeling that my ego was going right into protective mode, like a child saying, "That's not what I was doing!", and then moving on to other white noise chatter to wash away the clarity of the moment.
And then this morning I am running a typical ego angst program of late, a recent situation of being at odds with my son concerning method of discipline ( I come from the old school of give them something to cry about, and he comes from the school of "time out" and let them cry themselves out). As the program was running, complete with all of the complimentary emotional content that makes any good ego program worth its salt, I saw (more like sensed) my and my son's higher Self talking calmly, in Peace and complete resolve, while both were dispassionately observing the running ego program. This gave me back my option of clarity, of distinction between the Real and unreal...
It seems to me that we have an observer option that is much more than some imaginative psychological scheme to trick ourselves into disregarding ego programs. We have the higher Self to resort to as calm observer option. This would be simple natural universal law if indeed we have a higher self. The word higher self is not even that important since words have been developed in such an illusory construct (are mere symbols), thus twice removed from undistorted Reality. It is more the tangible experience of being calmly at a "clear" distance from the typical ego program that I am usually, if not paying close enough attention to, at the very emotional center of.
We all know that there are certain things we should not take for granted (or have been trained to think it is not polite), but it would seem there are a few vital and fundamental things we should be taking for granted, and are not, collectively, as a humankind developing species. The option is so easy when I use it, so it must be me willfully choosing the emotional drama of the pet illusion du jour when I ignore the option. The interesting thing is how robotic the programs can be when I am not paying close enough attention, and am not willfully choosing to recognize I have a choice.
Can anyone else relate to this? Any personal stories?
Yay Chris! These are the types of posts that I love! I think I grew up in that same ole school and have had that same ole scenario play out with my daughter regarding her high energy kids. Thank goodness she is their parent, and I am the grandparent that can simply back away from the situation and let her handle it. I sometimes wonder how she learned to be such a patient, tolerant, loving parent – lol!!
I, too, am finding repeating moments of clarity popping into my stream of consciousness. I first had the experience of “presence” or “awareness” when reading Ekhart Tolle’s Power of Now book. He asked one to simply stop and wait for the next thought to come through your mind. I waited and waited….watching. (My mind oh-so-cleverly thought, “I must not be doing this right because it is taking a long time for any thought to happen.” I almost didn’t recognize it as a thought…. Because I thought it was me! I hope you can follow me on that realization.)
Anyway… when that next thought popped into my mind, I returned to the book and read the next paragraph which said something like, “Who was the observer waiting… and watching… for that next thought?” He very cleverly led me to and pointed at the state of presence. Once I had that… I wanted to stay there more. Life was much easier to deal with in that state of presence. I wasn’t lost in the past, or worrying about the future. At first I could only experience “presence” for a few moments before sinking back into the unconscious, reactive behavior that I thought was “me”. Through the years since that realization, I can see that my desire and dedication to expanding that state – and operating from it – has gotten better and better every day. Now when something uncomfortable (or even very enjoyable stuff) starts happening… when ego programming kicks in and emotions start to rise…. I have another tool that follows shortly after… Awareness. Presence. Now that doesn’t mean I can just step out of the emotion, or not play out my part of the drama happening…. but at least I am aware of that now. Little by little I am being able to respond with different actions (or should I say “re-actions”) – with truly incredible results.
Recently, there seems to be yet another level of this awareness/presence kicking in. Clarity. I wrote in a post previous about a morning I experienced in which Clarity came and stayed with me for about an hour or so. Every thought that I held in my mind, under that shining light of clarity, revealed great understanding. If I held that thought longer…. The understanding would expand into a deeper layer. I was astonished by this process and in awe. When it subsided, I wanted it back. It reminded me of my first experience with presence. My first experiences made me feel as if I had just come up from underwater and taken a breath of sweet, fresh air. I would recognize it again, as I broke through the surface – somewhere a few days later – taking another refreshing breath, realizing that I had been “under” and unaware for awhile. At first I was frustrated with myself for not being able to maintain that state. But, I have always wanted to learn everything faster than life allows sometimes! Lol
Now, I keep breaking through this new surface into Clarity for brief moments. Having learned a bit of patience – or perhaps is it just hindsight learned within the process of trying to hard to expand my presence/awareness – I am doing my best at allowing the process of Clarity to unfold as it will. I do think that this is a result of our awakening… part of this chaotic shift we are going through. Another thing I believe has helped me keep expanding into greater awareness of who I am is to be out here with the wonderful minds here at the G-spot. Thanks for a great post!
With Love,
Mary
A couple of years ago, I engaged a friend of mine who is a hypnosis therapist whom I trust and love. The reason for this series of treatments I choose not to share. Nevertheless, during the hypnosis, and I did get into deep hypnotic trance, I found that there was another "Me" as it were setting in the balcony observing what was going on. I was totallly aware that I was under hypnosis, and responding to the questions and suggestions which were offered. But the "higher me", which I don't even now consider to have been my ego, was watching and noting what was happening. It is as if that part of myself was outside of this process and it/I was having nothing to do with the hypnosis procedure.
Needless to say, the procedure didn't produce the desired results. I told Kathy, my friend and hypnotist, about this experience, and she said that this happens sometimes. The fact is that the higher self is the ultimate decider of what is happening in a persons experiences.
I have in the past been hypnotized and that with my agreement, and in those times I recall vaguely that the Observer was there then too. The results at that time were better as the Observer was not objecting to them. Strange that this thread should cause me to recall these incidents. But thanks for bringing it up.
Sorry I can't comment on children or child raising as that is alien to my experiences. Thank you very much. I can't imagine myself as a parent. It wasn't in my precarnative blueprint.
boy, that was a great example of stumbling on the observer,,my incidents are very sloppy lately, but they are happening quite often,,,,,,,,,it seems that whenever I hear someone I approach in public, (grocery clerk, shop owner, just someone you try to connect with on the street,etc.) use a common expression, (how about this wx !,or did you hear about this or that), you know, things you can almost predict they were going to say,, if I choose to give the common response, all of a sudden I find myself "observing " us both, and knowing that I could have responded differently and altered the energy between us in a positive way,,as alot of times those "common subjects" come up out of uneasiness, conscious or subconscious, or just out of a feeling of obligation to say something, or be social,,,,in most instances, I find that a warm look and hello immediately produces a warm feeling between us whether I know the person or not, as that is acknowledging the link we all have, and far surpasses smalltalk,,,so I guess he (observer) is just showing up to remind me,,,,,,,,,,of course, if someone else initiates small talk, it is hard to just switch the conversation to,,hey brother, I love you,,,,,,and that is when it happens the most,,,now I see it as a challenge to change the situation,,or at least to be able to change it the next time,,,,,,,thanx for the subject matter,,you are helping me to remember, or turn focus to, things that happen so fleetingly in the course of a day...........T
I like what you said tscout, about acknowledging another person. You want to be a positive force with others and not retreat into unconciousness or robotic behaviour. My recent life stresses are making me crazy and I often am impatient or short with people in public when things are crowded or people are thoughtless-which is often- Hah!
I got some interesting advice once about interactions...when you are out among people, wear a half-smile on your face. Def not advocating a full smile-it's tiring, becomes fake etc. The half smile is so slight it doesn't look much like a smile. You may be concerned it doesn't seem you are smiling. But people see you are being positive without a lot of acting and they feel safe enough to smile back. It is a tremendous icebreaker! Other people who consciously want to be positive often respond instantly. It can help struggling people relax too (one less jerk to deal with!). I have an uncle who unfailingly practices this and though we barely know each other, I always felt welcome in his presence growing up. He is also financially successful and secure. hmmm
I used to feel that displaying my inner mood was the most honest thing I could do. Since I equated maximum honesty with the highest good this was the best way to interact with others. Then I went for a long time not really thinking about it. But eventually I noticed two things:
1. Mature individuals I admired were more interested in helping others be at their best
2. People would often see me displaying my mood as childish or feel put-off by my expression.
Remembering to half smile, the day is usually a good one.
Oh, another piece of advice I've only heard once? -You know how interracial couples and marriages are under a lot of stress from a-holes and they often fail? If you see an interracial couple on the street-smile approvingly. It shows you are friendly and support them without a word spoken.
Peace to all-Brian
Hi, Brian.
I'd never heard it said just that way before, but the half smile idea is really cool. When I'm out and about, or at work, I remind myself to soften my features... kinda like a half smile, I guess. At work, especially, it's easy to get sucked into carrying all the worries of work with you, even in the halls and the cafeteria. So when I leave my office, (and when I'm aware enough to remember), I'll just think to myself that now's a good time to give my face a break from all the furrowed brow stuff, and the hard jawline that work will sometimes bring. I also keep my eyes up, and make eye contact with people. I smile a lot, so generally when I make eye contact and say hello, I'll also just naturally smile. Most folks probably think I'm nutty. A good number of people will avoid eye contact, or mutter a hello back. (Can you tell I kinda make it my little game? ) There are a few people, though, that I can tell look for me and are happy to say hello, and get that smile. One of the cooks will catch my eye as I walk into the serving area, and give me a big wave now. LOL... That's equivalent, in my "game" to a 3-pointer! It's sad that we don't get a lot of that in our emotional diets...
And while I call it a game, it's not something I do frivolously. I sincerely want to make the connection. I think my thought process is like... "Hey, can you believe we're here? Isn't this cool? You're doing great!" Or, I guess, more succinctly, "Namaste". (But I have to admit that it's fun to push the comfort zones of some of the folks at work that are much more concerned about their work than being human.)
Much love and light to you, and thank you, Brian, for giving me something more to think about,
Kathy
As I was thinking of posting a note of appreciation, it struck me that ALL negative emotion and negative interior prompting is not from Truth of our Reality. That is, it would appear to be a product of self conditioning that comes from a build up of subtle periodic adoption of illusory data that is just plain taken for granted without giving it a 2nd thought most of the time, presumed initially to be real (validated by content of emotion), and then logged in the subconscious as such.
What occurred to me when thinking of this is, what a great way to keep the calm dispassionate observer more present, more frequently, during moments of tape looped negativity that seems to come in personal and collective cycles, but really has no real power, other than that which we willfully (unconsciously) assign to it (as divine sovereign agents of the Divine), albeit misguided ones much of the time. If we can accept that there really is no legitimate negative emotion, than we may have another way to be much more present, as divine observer, during those subconscious re-runs...
Just trying to think of ways to stay more present during those cyclical moments of human negativity. Any thoughts on this angle???
I like your idea too brian,,the half smile is like smiling and then "pausing "it,,you know,,anyone coming can see it about to bust out, it could even be motion activated to go to a full smile within 20 ft. of a living entity,,,,,I have spent alot of time like that, but not in quite a while.....I used to be in the public eye alot, and had to have it on, but it was easy as I liked my job....and there are periods of your life where you are just happy all the time, and you wear that smile like you have a big secret to share with everyone,,,,,I would say that until recently, I haven t been wearing it like I should, except when I am with my son,,,I have waded through alot of hurt in this place in the last 10 years, and I did it all alone, and have only recently digested it all and reemerged a better person from it,,,and that smile is a big part of it.......T...........oh, and Chris, after reading HH s post, I am now seeking out those moments consciously to test myself, not trying to create them, but looking for those things I am not,,and with lots of practice, I won t be! ha...T