Spiritual Spiders on the Round Table.

Humble (and hopefully humorous) miscellaneous, mindful musings of Mary’s mostly meandering mind.   Hereafter known as “Hhhmmmmmmm”.


The musing of spiritual concepts crop up in some interesting ways in my life.   In the early morning hours in which I was trying to sleep this morning, I found myself once again pondering spirituality and spiders.   Since most of the other people around me at this time would not be ones to have a conversation such as this, I thought perhaps I could bring the spiritual spiders to the round table and let them crawl around there.  I would love to have any input, insight, or stories shared here.  Hopefully you will take this in the light, humorous way in which I attempted to write it, even though the significance reaches to some deep levels.


One spring morning, a few short months ago,  I woke and upon opening my eyes saw a spider on my ceiling.   Eeek.  My standard operating procedure would be to get up and squish the spider with the reasons being that 1.) Spiders scare me.  2.) A spider on the ceiling might fall on me, and  3.) A spider on the ceiling in my bedroom – and almost over my bed – could mean it would fall on my bed and then crawl on me when I was sleeping!   Now I know spiders usually don’t “fall”, or even live to chase people, but if you can humor me a bit… that is what my mind always tells me.


Since it was a spring morning, and a weekend morning at that, I took a little bit of time to look at the spider and think about the situation.   I seemed to remember a bit of a spiritual story about grandmother spider – weaving the web of life – or something along those lines.  I couldn’t recall the story or legend, yet it propelled my thoughts over to the spiritual significance of the spider on my ceiling.   Hhmmmmmm.  


I was mindful of the slight revulsion and fear I was experiencing inside my being, due to the fact that there was a spider – on my ceiling – in my bedroom – very, very close to being directly over my bed.   And so I sat (or rather laid) with that feeling for a bit --  Never taking my eyes off the spider.  (If it would have made any moves towards me I would have had to revert to the standard operating procedures outlined above titled ….. "squish".)   I contemplated the spiritual fact that “we are all one” in regard to the spider and thought, “Who am I to decide it needs to die?”  Maybe we could live together in peace.   I sent my thoughts out to the spider wondering if perhaps it would understand that although I was afraid of it, I was willing to try a different behavior.  And asked it to please not crawl on me.  Communing with the silent spider was interesting.


That spider stayed on my ceiling – in the same spot – for three days!   I was a little proud of the fact that I was able to turn off my light at night, knowing there was a spider on my ceiling.  After three days, I almost felt I knew that spider.  On the third morning, upon opening my eyes, I saw the second spider.  Hhhmmmmm.   This new spider was directly over my bed… yet still down by the foot of my bed.    And so I sat with some new  feelings of discomfort for a couple days.  I was always grateful in the morning when they were still in their places – because it meant they hadn’t fallen on me, you see.


This was springtime – a time when we in the northern climates tend to see much more activity from the spider species.  So I wasn’t really surprised when I began to see them show up at my work too.  At work the spiders are much bigger though.  They are called “wolf spiders”.  (shudder).   I’ve been told they don’t make webs, as they are “hunters” and they roam around looking for their food.   


Now, my boss is not afraid of spiders, and if I would alert her to one, she would do what she could to “get it” and put it outside – alive.   That was fine, except she usually just ended up succeeding in helping them find some crack in my area that they could firmly entrench themselves in.  Great....


I was a little grateful of my victory in watching a somewhat large wolf spider go across the floor (away from me, mind you) in my area and crawl over behind a cabinet.   I blessed him on his way…. still wondering about that “we are all one” concept  and trying to fit it around spiders.   Could I perhaps grow and mature enough to change my thoughts and feelings about spiders?  Maybe get to a spot where I don’t feel a need to have to kill anything?


Another day I was walking down the hall to the restrooms when I encountered a spider in the hallway.   It was pointed in the direction toward my area and I thought that perhaps I would just “scare” it in the other direction – and specifically towards the offices of people who aren’t afraid of spiders  - and stomped my foot in front of it.   It barely twitched.    I noted my failed attempt to control the spider and proceeded down the hall.  I figured it must have known my intention was not to kill it – and therefore was not “scared”.    When I was returning up the hall, back to my area a few minutes later, the spider was nowhere to be seen.    I found that "not knowing" where the spider went (when it had originally been headed in the direction toward my office) was more disconcerting than seeing it the first time!


The final straw came on the day that I was sitting at my desk, and out of the corner of my eye I detected movement on the floor.   There was a particularly large “wolfie” coming across the floor, directly towards me.    I watched for about 3.456789 seconds before getting up – and at about two feet from my chair - I stepped on him.   My mind trumpeted to me “See? We are NOT one – the spider is very obviously squished on the floor, and you are still standing here breathing shakily.”    (I will admit that my “mind” is not very enlightened and was happy to have some action.) 


Since that incident, I haven’t seen very many spiders, but that is normal throughout the summer months.  The ones I did see should still be living, though.    Now it is fall.   And as I was going around and taking my co-workers trash bags out of their trashcans on Friday afternoon, I happened to see – there behind a couple of the trash cans – a spider –hiding.    (I work at a small company who only employees the “pick up after yourself” janitorial service.  It is kind of a poorly operating service, in my opinion.)


I realize this could all be taken care of by teaching my co-workers to be more conscientious of taking their own garbage out on Fridays, instead of waiting until Monday when the fruit flies fill up the office from the food they threw in their garbage cans the previous week.  Then I wouldn’t have to see the spiders lurking behind their garbage cans.  But something tells me that perhaps I have more to learn about spiders and spirituality. 


If you made it this far, I thank you.   I had fun putting this down on paper (or should I say, the screen?)  And if you happen to know the story of grandmother spider I would be glad to hear it.   Your stories or comments are always welcome.


With Love,


Hey Mary,

Can I play here?...Lol...

I love spiders.....last christmas I was working for a car rental company....a lady who returned a car told us there was a spider in it. I jumped in and started it up and yep, a big Huntsman was on the passenger side of the windscreen. I jumped out of the car, opened the passenger door and got him out.....they are a big flat spider...long hairy legs but totally harmless...as he ws walking off up the carpark the manager came over, an old guy....I pointed out the spider, sharing my appreciation for this marvelous..lol...creature.....well this guy starts heading toward the spider and he was going to step on him.....not on my watch!...lol...he couldn't believe it when I stood between him and the spider...Lol...he was saying it would kill someone when it jumped in another car...I told him the spider wouldn't kill anyone and that if someone panicked and crashed it was there responsibility....lol....he couldn't believe I wouldn't let him pass and he could tell I wasn't going to move, he had no choice to back off.....lol...

They really do freak some people out though..I know a guy who upon seeing a huntsman in his car, pulled over, ran to a shop and got a can of spray and then sprayed the whole can in his car, he then couldn't go in the car and as he was carrying on a police car that was passing actually pulled over.....another mate will use a whole can of spray and not be happy until the spider is under an inch of white foam....spiders do trigger some people....here at home mum knows not to kill them, if they see one I get called to take him outside....mind you I will sometimes kill a white tail spider if I see one inside, there venom can cause a really nasty reaction in many people and leave a large scar like a burn...

Australia has some cool creatures...where I live we get red back spiders...really little and they don't hassel people  but are actually deadly!...they used to be a problem when we had outside toilets, they were known for hiding under toilet seats!...and in Sydney we have the Funnel Webs.....harmless to a dog but super deadly to humans.....will kill you in ?....hours/ a day....in summer the males go searching for females, usually they live in a burrow but they enter houses and they get found in peoples shoes and socks......I had a friend who was bitten by one in his sock and he had to spend a week in hospital....

Australia has lots of scary little creatures, we have over half of all snake species and the most dangerous in the world...in my area we get Browns and Tigers.....something like the 7th and 4th most dealy in the world......but....

They don't really cause a problem.....the rule is...leave them alone and they will leave you alone.........the only people who usually get bitten go and poke them, try to kill or catch them....in summer there are people who you can call if you find one in your backyard, which might happen if you have a creek close by.....

Oh and did you know why a spider sits above you while you sleep?.......hot air rises!.....directly above you will be warmer.......your his blanket!

Take care and much love,


Wendy's picture

Hi Mary,

I'm deathly afraid of wolf spiders in particular - good for you for facing your fears! I'm making some progress on the fear of spiders front since we started gardening. There's little black ones that seem to guard our yellow squash and zuchinni. Each squash seems to have it's own guard spider - these spiders don't seem to bother me any more. I think it's because they are very predictable in their behavior, they just scamper away as soon as I go to pick a squash. Knowing that the spiders in the garden are protecting my food certainly does help but I still freak if I see a wolf spider in the house. I can atleast control my freak out in the office some and have learned to quickly step away without letting out a blood curdling scream.

As far as the spiritual significance, I think spiders are symbolic representations of many of my fears. Loss of liberty (bound in a web), being sucked dry, a feeling that others own you (the pincers signify greed, ownership and grabbiness to me) - sounds a lot like the corporate banking system that I'm so adamant about speaking out against.

Jez, I have to say, I'm one of those people that would get into an accident - I've swerved way off the road when I've seen a large spider in the car. I have to laugh at myself about the spiders in the toilets. I heard about that in Junior High and was checking under the toilet seat for weeks after that.

In keeping with the slightly humorous tone here - Here's one of the funniest videos I've ever seen:


Hey Pj,

We all have fears, but fear isn't the problem....like all so often today we think in reactive terms instead of pro-active....a fear is just something that tells you to be aware or beware of something....I use the analogy of my dog......if I am out the back and someone knocks on the front door I want him to bark if he is aware of something I am not, it's his job to tell me...if I ignore his barking or if I yell at him to stop, he won't....this is good!....he will keep barking...it's only if I go find out why he is barking that I can get him to stop....I have him "trained" so that once I am aware of it he will stop barking, this is good because if I can't shut him up once he starts that would be a problem.....like my dog we can train ourselves the same way...........we allow our fears to become something much larger...especially if we don't look at the fear and work out where it is really coming from....

You sound well on your way to understanding your fear with spiders....I'll over emphasize this and hopefully you will hear what I am trying to describe.....you have obviously dared to look into your shadow and you can now transform that fear.....I think you understand that the fear is not about the spider...the spider has triggered something within you...become a signal....the spider is your guide....this is animal medicine....you see through the spider you have explored yourself more deeply......he is your friend....a "good" thing has happened...you are more aware of yourself...

You can now choose to see the spider as a messenger....if he comes to you your reaction to him will give you many clues as to how you are dealing with those issues he represents....if you get really scared you can now look at him and say yeah, your right, I'm still struggling with these issues...thanks for reminding me....he may be telling you it's time to re-examine them......his lesson could also be in how he deals with things, studying his habbits may hold a clue to something coming to the surface of your consciousness at that time...

If you are able to show Mr spider compassion at times when your fear is greatest it is the same as showing yourself compassion......this is a very powerful thing!.....

 a) you have just firmly planted yourself in the "now"  b) you have taken responsibility for yourself and your actions and c) you have stopped trying to control and mould reality through accepting things for what they are and not what you "want" them to be............and this is the foundation for service to others.......

Ok, if you see a wolf spider here is what you do....get a glass or plastic contanier, prefferably see through.....put it over him, works for floors, walls and ceilings.....have in your other hand some stiff paper, carboard or anything thin and flat that is bigger than your container....slide the cardboard under the edge of the container, be careful not to hurt his legs as you get him to jump on top of it.....once he is trapped just slide your hand between wall and lid making sure to hold it tightly against the container so he has no chance of escape and take it outside....

The more fear you have when you do this the greater the buzz when you huffing, puffing and sweating watch from a distance as he wanders away....do it enough times and your fear will not illicit the same feelings within you......

Ok and since we are on this topic now I was walking out back one day and saw a huntsman spider being carried up the brick wall of the house by a huge wasp....I felt sorry for the spider so I got a container and caught them, like I descirbed.....I managed to seperate the paralyzed spider and studied the wasp.....he was one mean and impressive dude....about as big as my thumb...I should say she because the reason she had caught the spider was to lay eggs within him....she would then let him go, he would recover and go about things as normal until the eggs hatched....then the baby wasps would eat him from the inside out......the insect world is "scarier" than anything science fiction dreams up.....the wasp was amazing...he was so intelligent....he was so pissed with me...kept trying to sting through the plastic, he was watching me...he was aware of me....if he could have escaped this inch long wasp would have gone to war with me...he had no fear!....not sure why now but I never let him go, he died and while I haven't seen it in a while I am pretty sure he is dried out and in my medecine pouch......

Hope some of that made sense...thanks Mary  and PJ, I love this stuff, nature is so amazing...and it will talk to you if you learn how to listen to it..........



valstanton's picture

Hi Mary

This isn't the story of grandmother Spider but I found this.......'to the Native Americans Grandmother Spider kept and taught the mysteries of the past and how they were affecting the furture.   Spider reminds us to awaken our own sensibilities to be more creative in life' (taken from Animal Speak by Ted Andrews) he goes on to say that 'Spider is the guadian of the ancient langueage and alphabets and that 'those who weave magic with the written word probably have a spider totem'. 

Also from his book ..............notice when Spider comes into your life, were you feeling creative at that time or where you blocking your creativity?  Are you weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality?  Are you using your creative opportunities? Are you feeling closed in or stuck as if in a web?  Do you need to pay attention to your balance and where you are walking in life?  Are others out of balance around you?  Do you need to write?  Are you inspired to write or draw and not following it through?   Spider can teach us how to use the written language with power and creativity so that your words weave a web around those who read them.  So there you go, what a lovely gift Spider has for you

Interesting stuff and thanks I enjoyed your post Smile

with much love valx

onesong's picture

I once had the same response to spiders as your post above, then I learned their story...a friend of mine gets them out of the house in the most gentle way I've seen. She has a soft broom...hmmm i guess it must be some sort of plastic bristles. She sort of whisks it over the spider catching him in it and then shakes it outside. Spider always survives the move!           


(Old Spider Woman, Thinking Woman, S'ts'tsi'naku, Tse-che-nako, Sussistinako, Stich-tche-nako, Ts'its'nako)

from the book by Paula Gunn Allen called Grandmothers of the Light.

Ooma-oo, long ago. The Spider was in the place where only she was. There was no light or dark, there was no warm wind, no rain or thunder. She was a great wise woman, whose powers are beyond imagining. No medicine person, no conjurer or shaman, no witch or sorcerer, no scientist or inventor can imagine how great her power is. Her power is complete and total. It is pure, and cleaner than the void. It is the power of thought, we say, but not the kind of thought people do all the time. It's like the power of dream, but more pure. Like the spirit of vision, but more clear. It has not shape or movement, because it just is. It is the power that creates all that is, and it is the power of all that is.

In that place where she was alone and complete with her power, she thought about her power, how it sang to her, how she dreamed from it, how she wished to have someone to share the songdream with her. Not because she was lonely, but because the power's song was so complete, she wished for there to be others who could also know it. She knew this was the power's wish just as it was hers. For she and her power were together and of one mind. They were two, but they were the same thing.

So she thought to the power once and knew a rippling, a wrinkling within. Then she knew that she was old, and wrinkled, and that the power's first song was a song of great age. The wrinkling became tighter, more spidery, stronger. It became in one place. She named that place Northwest. She knew the wrinkling had folded up on itself, enfolded on itself. She knew much of the universe, the great power, was contained within. Later the earth would be ripples and wrinkles, spidery lines of power folded and enfolded into a tight moving shape, and it would also hold the great power within, like a mother holds new life. Others would also imitate this time: walnuts and acorns, apples and pineapples, cactus and mountains, even the oceans would be like that. And humans, five-fingered beings, would grow wrinkled in their skins and brains, in honor of this time when she and the power made a song to form new life, new beings.

She was so happy with what she knew, so full of awe at the beauty of the song, that she thought again. And again she knew the rippling, the wrinkling, the running of spidery lines along the edges of the forming pouch of the power's song, the folding and enfolding into a shape that held some of the power of all that is within. She knew that the place of that pouch, that bundle of her thought, her song, was in the Northeast. So humming and singing, she shaped them. That was how the directions came into being. How the seasons came to be.

She thought in her power to each of the bundles and continued singing. She sang and sang. She sang the power that was. The power that is everywhere and that has no name or body, but that is just the power, the mystery. She sang, and the bundles began to move. They began to sing, to echo her song, to join it. They sang their heart's song, that was the same as Spider's heart song, that was the heart song of great mystery, the power that moves. The song seemed to deepen as she heard other hearts singing. The song seemed more free, it seemed stronger. The two who rose up from the bundles with their singing each had a bundle of her own. And in each bundle the life of the universe rested, waiting until it was sung into life.

Spider named each of the beings; one she named Ic'sts'ity and the other she named Nau'ts'ity. They were not human beings, but supernatural beings. They did not have physical bodies because they were much vaster than even a planet, even a star. A star couldn't contain all they were and knew, all they thought. Spider told each of them that they were to make more beings, so that the song could go on and on, so that she and the power could share the beauty with more and more beings. She told them that they would take from their pouches a part of the song and would sing it into fullness, into ripeness. They would need to sing the mystery in the way of thought to bring the lives in their bundles into being. They understood her directions because they were the song and the mystery. All of it and only a small piece of it. It was much vaster than they, and yet they could sing it into different shapes of being, different ways of singing, different parts of the great being song.

Ic'sts'ity began to sing a new chant: way-a-hiyo, way-a-hiyo, way-a-hiyo, way-a way-a-o. She sang and sang, thinking to her bundle, and around them as she sang swirling, whirling globes of light began to form. They began pushing outward in a great whirling spiral, a great wheeling multitude of stars, all singing as they circled and wheeled like great geese upon the void. As they spiraled outward, they grew larger and brighter. Around and around the still, invisible center where Spider, Ic'sts'ity and Nau'ts'ity sang. The whirled, the outer ones flinging themselves farther and farther from the center, great arms forming in the spiral dance, following the lines of the song, the lines of the power, reaching out farther and farther into the mystery, carrying the song in their light, in their fingers, making both the darkness and the light as they danced, finding the power coming to them from the darkness, flinging it out from them in the light. The power danced in the void, in the light, in the midnight reaches of the gleaming dark. It sang.

Then Nau'ts'ity began to sing her thought to her bundle. Aam-i-humm, humm, humm, aam-i-humm, humm,humm, aam-i-o, o, o, o, aam-i-o, o, o, o, aam-i-o. The song changed again as Spider and Ic'sts'ity joined her song, and from the brilliant globes of light new shapes spun out, dancing around and around the lights, giving shape and solidity to the darkness, carrying the spin of the song into new places, more solid, more full. The planets sang, new beings awakening, joining their heart song. The power shaped and dipped, wheeled and danced, and over vast reaches it took on forms it hadn't known.

Satisfied with their work, Spider turned to her granddaughters and smiled as she chanted. In their begetting they would make many worlds, and upon some of them human beings would sing in the same way as she and her granddaughter-sisters sang. On those same worlds, feathered beings would swoop and wheel as the great fires around her did. And on them, life would press its way from the place of the Spider singing into the place of individual songs. And that would be far away from the place where the three stood. It would be right among them as they stood and sang in the void, surrounded by the wheeling lights and the great swooping dark.

Call me Mary's picture

Thank you all so much for sharing. 


Omg Wendy – that video is hilarious!   Having a strong dislike of spiders I was hesitant to click the play button – but I’m glad I did.  Was that the actual sound of the spider as he did his “ritual”?   I found I couldn’t help but smile and then chuckle by the end!  Such intensity…lol     And then he got so big at the end! (sorry if that’s bad humor… pun is intended and couldn’t be helped).


And Jez, you were saying that Wendy should catch the spider in the see-through glass and take it outside, right ??   Lol.   I’m glad you came out to play.  You always have such interesting stories  and perspectives.   Who would have known – Mild mannered Jez by day  – is a most powerful secret protector of Huntsman spiders?  Fighting mighty wasps and blocking carpark managers to save and protect them.     It almost made me ashamed of having admitted that I stepped on that last spider in my story.   But knowing that it is possible to look at spiders in a different way, I hope to release this irrational fear of them.  I do understand that my fear is irrational.   Transforming it takes a little more work, though.


And btw (by the way) – I liked when you “over emphasized” the concept about fear and spiders.    You gave me great new ways to understand my spiritual spiders.  Many thanks, Jez.


Hi Val – What interesting information you shared.  More great questions for me to ponder when spider comes calling again.  Thank you!  I didn’t know “spider” could be a totem.  In recalling info about totems, I have heard that sometimes, one is frightened of their totem animal to begin with and my second thought was, “Omg….could it be that I have a Spider Totem?  Couldn’t I have something more elegant or likeable?”  lol.     I do love to write… yet I don’t know how to use writing in any meaningful way yet – except for personal journaling – and, of course, writing comments or posts on our forum.


If I could weave magic with words, I would weave a web of love around my wonderful friends out here so that they would be able to feel a gentle touch of my love.  Gentle enough not to bind or restrict, yet strong and solid enough to support them and let them know how very real it is.


Kristyne – Thank you for the Grandmother Spider story.   I had a feeling you would be the one to share it.   I want to tie a couple of threads of the web together here in my response to you.   I followed the drumming thread a while back with great interest.  I felt a desire to purchase a drum and follow some inner feeling that is beginning within me.   I wasn’t sure where to get one, but told my sisters of my desire.  (They are great "finders".)   A few weeks ago, one sister called and said, “I found your drum – and drum maker.  She loves her craft and is passionate about what she does.”   Now, as I type, my drum is on its way to me.  (Said with great excitement!)   I have been thinking about how you and Berry painted your drums personally and thought that would be a grand thing to do, but I have no “painting” skills and couldn’t think of what would be important enough to me at this point, to paint on my drum.   I had decided just to leave it without any design on it.    This morning as I woke, and thought about looking to see if I had any replies to my “spider” post, I wondered if you would be the one to tell the grandmother spider story.  I have enjoyed your lovely animal stories in many other posts.   As I thought of you, of course, the image of your painted drum profile picture came to my mind.  Then my thoughts went to my drum…. Smile


After reading the great posts here – which have touched me deeply – I think I know what I can paint on my drum.  Would you be surprised if I told you it just might be a web?


Thank you all for being a wonderful part of my process. 


With Great Love,


Wendy's picture

Thanks Jez-

That was very helpful to me - look at the spider as a messenger, helpful reminder - that part was great.  I think that was a great observation about the intelligence of insects - I've noticed this too, especially with spiders so perhaps that's why I'm so afraid of them. We've had a fly problem in the house lately - I swear they know what the fly swatter is for - they all fly away as soon as it comes out.

My husband uses your spider removal method so they aren't killed. We have a deal - he handles all the creepy crawly house problems, I handle all the gross messes (pet throw-up, accidents, etc.) - it's a win-win for both of us.


ksaulino's picture

I'm just going to start by saying that my son is busy in the other room playing... you guessed it... Spiderman on the Wii.  (that just tickles me)

So, my story of spiders... I am also a little freaked out by spiders.  I recognize that they eat other pesty creatures, so I'm ok with them, in theory.  On the ceiling over my bed... um... no.  LOL

When I was in my first apartment, I saw a VERY large spider.  He apparently lived in the radiator or something, because he'd run over and hide away whenever I startled him.  So one day, I ran into him in the middle of the kitchen.  I probably could have killed him... though it would have been a pretty gross kill... since he was so big and all...  So I said to him... quite loudly,  "OK, here's the deal.  If you want to live here, you have to come out only when I'm not around.  If I see you again, I'll have to kill you, which I don't want to do."  I went on to tell him my work hours, so he'd know when he could safely move about the apartment.  LOL.  I never saw him again.  Maybe it worked, or maybe he just thought I was too nutty to live with. 

Lots of love,



Wendy's picture

Hi Mary-

I think this video had the spider on some kind of speaker or drum so it's sounds were amplified. The spider that I'm assuming is female - looks like it's kind of pinned down, perhaps dead - I'm assuming this was all some kind of study - it's a shame they weren't treating the female spider very well. Oh and yea, I thought Jez's sugestion of capturing the wolf spider in a glass was VERY out of the question, neat how you realized that. - however, one never knows with steady dedication and practice what one can accomplish...however with the hubby around to handle the spider situation I think I'd rather continue to practice having an OBE.



Call me Mary's picture

I just couldn’t resist the temptation to give a little update on the spiders.  (I’m having way too much fun with this!)


I went into work yesterday (Monday) morning and I noticed a couple spiders out on the floor - hiding in plain sight.   I wasn’t (very) afraid and I didn’t try to kill them or anything… I just noticed them as messengers.   A little later my boss was in my area and said, “Why do you have all these dead spiders on your floor?”    She proceeded to get a tissue and pick them up gently.  (I was surprised that she didn’t squish them as she picked them up –   she had a graceful approach or maybe a respect of their bodies.)   There were three of them – of which I had only noticed two.   I watched in silent amazement as she was walking to the trash can with them.  I was a little afraid that they were just “playing dead” and would soon move and crawl out of the tissue.  They didn’t.    I asked her how she knew they were dead, to which she looked at me, smiled and said, “They had their legs all curled up.”    OH…  It’s amazing what you don’t know when a fear keeps you from looking closely at it.    I thought they just curled up – possibly in preparation to jump on something… like me.    Silly how the mind works, isn’t it?  Lol     I don’t know why the spiders chose to crawl into my area and die over the weekend… but I had some sense that it was somehow...someway related to my post.  Synchronicity.


This morning as my mind was wandering aimlessly, half listening to my radio playing… letting me know that it was time to get up and go to work… I thought about this spider post a bit more, thinking about adding these words to the thread today.   I suddenly keyed on the words the radio DJ is saying as he was talking about some songs and how they moved up the chart.   He said something like, …. “so & so released this song and it got legs and quickly creeped up the charts……”   That was close enough of a similarity to me, based on where my thoughts were, to again think -Synchronicity.   There are other little bits and pieces of things related that would only make this post long and boring if I were to type it all out, but they where there - -  Connected to the “spiders” that I started talking about in my story… back when I was unaware of all that would result, from this little public exploration of a fear.


This post – and the fun (and fear-busting) journey that resulted from it, has me seeing such a connection of the little – seemingly insignificant moments/things – into the experience of the intrinsically interconnectedness of life.   


To tie this all up (as if I could..) I think I have finally had the “experience” (instead of just the knowledge or understanding) of what Nassim talks about in this little clip.   I hope you can see how I got all the way from watching a spider on my ceiling… to the synchronistic feedback loop of consciousness.





With Love,

Mary -

Letting everything in life teach me… in every moment.

Wendy's picture

Just thought I'd share my little progress today. We have a medium sized spider that lives in my mailbox (big enough for me to be afraid of). Once in a while he's actually been in the mailbox in the past (and I've had to ask my husband to get the mail) but lately he/she just hangs out in the cracks between the plastic inside shell and the wood veneer outside. Usually when I get the mail I pick it up in such a way as to stay away from the edges between the veneer and the plastic, where you can see his/her web. I also stand away from the box and keep the mail at arms length in case the spider is in the mail. Today I made a point of just taking the mail out of the box as if the only spider that might be on it or near it is a small one that I'm not afraid of. I was actually almost hoping to see him/her so I could spend some time sending love and gratitude for the messages. Thanks so much, Mary and Jez it's great to be making progress on this burden I've allowed myself to carry for so long - I feel lighter.

Love and blessings,


tscout's picture

  Hey mary, I have always been fascinated by spiders.I worked in the desert for a couple of years, and had a couple of instances where I felt something crawling up my leg, and both times it was a full grown tarantula.I have seen them freak out when people freak out, so i was very calm, was standing in some big tiers we had planted,and just softly leaned over against a bush and waited for Mr.T to crawl onto the bush. In the fall they were all migrating through the area, and as I was working around a yellow plastered house, they would all be trying to reach the sun warmed plaster walls to heat up their little bodies. It was exciting to get so close to them...As for them being connected to aspects of the written word, I would like to bring up an old story I am sure many have read, I believe from "Black Elk Speaks". There were a few times when Black Elk was confronted, and even imprisoned by the government for "quackery" surrounding his miraculous healing sessions in the lodge. In one instance, he healed a child who I believe was about 10 years old, and had never spoken..The western doctors had a whole slew of technical reasons wnd failed surgeries to explain why the boy would probably never speak..Black Elk performed a ceremony in the hospital, if I remember correctly, and the next day, the boy began to speak,,I also believe this was one of the ceremonies he performed under close watch by government agents..Black elk s explanation for the boy s years of being tongue tied was that he had a big spider in his throat,that had "webbed" his vocal chords.......Glad to see you are befriending the arachnids,,they are a great way to test your own vibe, as if you are uptight, they will respond ! And then again, if you are really mellow, they won t hesitate to crawl right over you either ! ha!,,l,,,T

Call me Mary's picture

OH. MY. GOD....   What a story.  A tarantula....crawling on your leg!  And you remained calm?   Then waited patiently for Mr. T to go crawling on his way?    I suppose I could do that too..... If I passed out first! 

Todd, thanks so much for joining in with your stories.  I had not heard of Black Elk before. 

I suppose if I lived in a warmer climate I would have more opportunity to interact with Spider.  As it is, I only get to see them a few months each year, which makes it a little more difficult.   I can only imagine getting close enough to watch and learn from them.   But imagining may lead me to being able to do it one of this days. 

Hey Wendy - great job at the mailbox!

With Love,


We are inundated with Spiders in our house.  My husband freaks out when he sees them--- and the end is not good for the spider.

I recently have retrained hubby not to kill on sight as our children now have a freak out reaction that is a learned response.

I usually remove the spiders that come into our airspace and place them compassionately outside in the warm weather months and in the winter I remove them to the warm cellar.

The best way to reduce FEAR about anything is to be comfortable with it.  Study what you are afraid of and as time passes you will be less and less afraid!

This I had to do in my early twenties in order to overcome an extreme fear of spiders after being bitten by one on my face while sleeping.  I was very ill from this experience and had to go to the hospital.  It was very traumatic for me. 

I made it my goal to make peace with the spiders.  They are a helpful ally!  I allow those who wish to reside in the rafters to do so as long as they stay out of my airspace.


Waakzaam's picture

Great story Mary!  You must have the spider as your totem   :-)    I have to get to work but I can't stop reading this thread... now I have to write this.

When I was watching the spider doing his courting dance I thought "Yeah... that's us... typical guys.  We think we are fascinating the lady with our skillful dance performance and wooing her with our sweet sounds, while she's just there, keeping a weary eye on our presentation, making up her mind".

I was disappointed by the end.  It wasn't until Wendy pointed out that the female was probably not among the living, that I realize it was not ended just to keep their R rating. 

There's another video in that series where the lady is alive, but it's not quite as fascinating to watch without the sound:

As for the spiritual significance of spiders and other living creatures... I'm a bit confused.  I usually try to place them under a glass, then slide a piece of paper under the glass so the creature is trapped, then take it outside to release them.  But then I turn around and vacuum their spiderwebs off the ceiling and corners, taking away their means of livelihood, condemning them to starvation.

I don't know, this "web of life" (pun intended) is a bit confusing... more like a labyrinth.  We'll only get out of it by going up, like Icarus... well, no, his father. Icarus crashed into the ocean.

Anyway, keep writing Mary.  Your spider is leading you well.

Much love.


hey Bob,

I think the spirtual significance of the other creatures and the natural world is that it all follows natural or sacred law.....

The natural world is the example given to us of how this manifested reality works......

The native cultures believed that all things are connected and that "god", the creator, uses/is the natural world communicating with us....




Bob-Wazaam--- If the spider has been relocated to different hunting grounds then there is no reason to maintain the webs in the unoccupied hunting grounds.

We are inundated with spiders.  They make webs across our doorways, our windows, in every corner of the rooms, on the mailbox, around the outside light, in the bathtub, across the toilet, in the sink... I must say I have become a bit exasperated by these co-habitants of my home.  They also have taken up residence in the folds of handing jackets, amongst the children's toys. 

Conical web builders in the dark spaces, Big flat typical spider web builders in the door ways.  The ones that hid in the toys are brown and big.  Then, there is this type of spider that weaves this mat of a web.  I really dislike them.  Any container will do and they fill it with thier matted web.  It looks like something from the movie Alien.   I immediately relocate them all outside.  If it fights, I vaccum it up. 

I regularly remove thier webs.  If I did not our house would look like the tails from the crypt.  Our new strategy is to fill all access points to the outside with clear caulking.  We live in a 1700's built seafaring type of dwelling. 

I know that I am a word smith and an artist but all this spider action is just a bit much for me.  Expecially when the web is across the door way and I walk into it!




Francis's picture

Alright Mary, here's my spidy-story:  I started life terrified of them and would always call my older brother in to take care of them for me probably until I was a teenager.  Growing up in southern California we didn't have a huge spider problem (not like FFG - OMG!) but they would frequently appear in ones and twos or with their millions of babies.  When visiting our dad near Seattle we would have to sleep in the basement and there were always many very creepy looking spiders down there and when the lights went out no way to escape them.  I hated sleeping down there! and was ecstatic when he moved to a new place. 

When I went to Australia at 23 I had my first experience with Jez's huntsman spider.  I was camping down in the Margaret River area in Western Australia with two Aussie's I knew and we had to share a small camper.  It had one bed, a small sofa and the floor for us to sleep upon.  So we flipped for it and I landed with the second best spot - the sofa.  The guy who got the bed began bragging and rubbing it in as he was prone to do.  After a big night out we all went back to the trailer and woke up the next morning to him screaming and jumping out of bed in a panic yelling, "He crawled right over my belly!"  I guess he flung him across the trailer and we finally found him - about five inches of bad-ass looking spider - on the side of the fridge spying us sinisterly.  The Aussie's told me not to worry, though, with a laugh, saying they could only run extremely fast, jump, and bite.  Thanks a lot!  We got him out but I have to say I didn't sleep very well in that trailer unless I passed out drunk - ha!

A few months later I bought a Holden hx station wagon which I used to travel the east coast.  These Holden's run like champs - picture the best qualities of a Ford, Chevy, and GM put together and you get the idea - the size of an American model with the staying power of a Japanese.  I would sleep in the back as I traveled around.  But I soon discovered I had a free-loader along for the ride as every morning I would wake up to a large web on the driver's side rear view mirror.  One morning I spotted him in the door as I was taking down his web - another five incher - but he slipped into the car's hollow parts before I could grab 'em.  We traveled together for about two months - me doing the best I could to put him out of my mind when going to sleep and then waking up to a new web on the rear view mirror every morning - until I finally spotted him and flung him away one fine day to watch him scurry off into the distance. 

I used to kill spiders when I was younger and while thinking it was gross, wouldn't think much else of it.  Now I do the plastic container and a lid and take them out of our apartment not wanting to kill any of God's creatures.  I do this for rodents and even cockroaches we get once in a while too.  I was forced to face my fear of spiders head on when I was twenty-eight.  I was living in a garage, if you could call it that.  Picture the most run down, ramshackle old shed where the wood is so old it's coming apart and the walls don't meet and you get the idea - no building codes followed here.  I won't go into how I ended up there but I was there for about a year.  It was just a room with a bed and so many spider webs around the ceiling and walls that I knew that if I tried to eradicate them it would only start world war three - man vs. the insects.  I now understand that it was my own negative attitude that landed me in that place - it was almost like another dimension where life took on it's more ominous aspects.  I swear this to be the truth - in winter it reached 32 degrees fahrenheit and I didn't have a heater (because it would blow the circuits to the adjoining house) and there were mosquitos that would not buzz around slowly but dive bomb me like Japanese zeros!  I honestly think I entered another realm.  Anyway, I was forced to face my fears and only once woke up with a fat lip and occasionally with welt somewhere.  Suffice it to say I spent the majority of my time elsewhere and only came "home" when I absolutely had to.  Maybe someone else out there could come to a nice moral to my story as to the role spiders play in our lives but I will say that since overcoming my spidy fears I rarely have problems with them anymore and even feel a sense of connection upon releasing them into the great outdoors.  Hope it helps Mary or you at least get a chuckle out of my adventures.

Much love,


Waakzaam's picture

"I immediately relocate them all outside.  If it fights, I vaccum it up. "     Yeah!  I can see you standing there daring that little thing to do something about it.  It's a great image, let me tell you!  I may get a chance to use it    :-)     I trust most of the critters have enough wisdom to back away.

"The natural world is the example given to us of how this manifested reality works......"  I can dig that.  Look at the world as a metaphore.  As if it was a dream, then figure out what the dream is trying to tell you.  Cool.




LOL  Bob--Wazaam!  LOL   Laughing

Call me Mary's picture

Thanks for joining in you guys, Bob, Fairy & Francis.  It’s nice to have the reinforcement that it IS possible to overcome the fear of spiders.  Looks like I might have been a little slow on learning that it can be done.   For so long I just thought that that was the way it was.  Once you have a fear… you just have it.  I don’t have any bad experiences that I could say I got it from either… and that’s the weird part.  It was like I was just born with it.   


I gave in tonight and went out and looked up a huntsman spider.  Wow..  It’s almost like a little animal rather than an insect, isn’t it?  Kind of like the tarantula.   They are almost too big to be called a spider.   No wonder you called it a “creature”, Jez.


As far a my reference of spiritual to the spiders, Bob… well, I would just say that I like to try and make sense out of this thing called life.   And sometimes I will try to take a spiritual teaching… and wrap it around something ordinary, to see if it fits.   And sometimes I just mix up a whole bunch of information that is roaming around in this non-stop mind of mine and see if I can connect things in a new way.   Sometimes it works… and sometimes people just shake their heads at me.   Lol..    I like how you summed up Jez’s words with, “Look at the world as a metaphor”, because it really is.


Francis, you got me thinking about fear with your post “Let your light shine.”    When I read about the rats in the dungeon.. and the resulting “turning away from the fear”, I wondered if it could actually be that powerful.  Could it really be true?  Can releasing – or even refusing to have fear – actually change our physical reality?   The possibility of this “fearlessness” is mind boggling to me.  This lighthearted little exploration of my fear of spiders has echo’s of deeper possibilities.   


I enjoyed your adventures with the spiders.  I think you just got paired up with a huntsman who wanted to travel and see a bit more of the world in the Holden!  Can you imagine that his family told him that it would be dangerous and he’d probably get killed trying to do that?  Lol  I’m certainly glad that you have found a greater peace with life and are enjoying better living conditions than the old garage.   Negative attitudes sure aren’t very nice places to live are they? – inside or out.    Many thanks for your spidy stories.


With Love,



Mary,  I overcame my fear of spiders when I was in my mid-20's.  At a house I was living in, a giant web spinning black and yellow spider took to creating a web in the outside of the window of my living room... the very place I liked to watch the sun rise. 

At first I was terrified and actually retched from the FEAR that I had about spiders.  Then, I saw the beautiful sun rising, heard the doves calling and the birds twittering:  this particular morning was just a perfect New England USA early summer morning--- I took another look at the web--- avoiding looking at the underbelly of this 8 legged teacher. 

What I saw with the web was all the little drops of dew shone like diamonds in the rising the sun--- I saw the interconnectedness of each strand of spider silk... and the inherent beauty of this web.  I began to admire the web.

This was also a time in my life where I was beginning to understand that all life within the Cosmos was One Body.... there was much learning at this window on that day.

Once the sun was up it was time for me to rush off to work running late for being caught up regarding the beauty of the spider web.

The next morning, I awoke and with my coffee again watched the sun rise--- This time the Spider had decided to rest within the middle of thier web--- right at my eye level.  I decided that I would breath through my FEARS and watch the sunrise.  I measured the spider as the sun rose with my hand--- from its legs to other side of its legs it was about 4 inches.  Then, with my hands I measured me from my head to my feet... about 10 hands high--- hmmmm... This gave me some pause for thought.

Then, off to work again I went. 

And so on for the rest of the summer each day as I watched the sun rise, the spider would be there, the web would be there--- and I would be on the other side of the glass.

In the late summer, I got up enough gumption to go outside and watch the spider and the sunrise from the outside of the window at a 3 foot away distance.  Then, by the Autumn I watched the spider against the house near the window about 2 ft away--- and then finally I spoke to the spider while the sun was rising.

The spider became my confidenant for awhile until one day, she was no longer there and the web became tattered with the wind and autumn rains.  Then winter came.  And then spring and with spring came new adventures for me far away from the house I lived in with others.

After that summer, I had respect for the beauty of the spider.  I still felt a healthy fear of them but the hysterical FEAR was no longer within me.  I had grown comfortable with the spider. 

The next step I took was learning everything I could about common spiders.  Looking at pictures of them, seeing thier webs.  It was through learning this knowledge that I began to feel empowered to share my world with the spiders.  They are so important to the whole life web (pardon the term) that erradicating them would just collaspe our entire system from an insect bloom to the the collaspe of the bird, predators etc--- and we would be over run with Ant hills as well.  Ants and Spiders are mortal enemies. 

And so with that, I became comfortable with spiders.  I remove them with a plastic tube and lid if big and web building.  If small I slide a piece of cardstock paper under thier legs and by the time they have reached the end of the paper, I simply turn the paper over and they then make their way across that expanse--- and I remove them to the outside. 

I think it is okay to vacuum up thier webs as I am paying rent and they are not.  They can always make a new web somewhere else.  Sometimes, they make webs in the hopes it is good hunting grounds... but sometimes they are just as foolish as we with their choices.

It took me a good 2 years before I no longer freaked out about spiders.  I still have not overcome the FEAR of them crawling on me--- but I have over came the FEAR of them living around me.  This I feel is good enough.  The only spider I am comfortable with crawling on me is a tarantuala.  They do not bite--- as their mouths are too small.  I had a friend who had one as a pet.  And I petted the tarantuala.  Very interesting to feel.  Not sure I would keep one as a pet though.  To each is own.



Call me Mary's picture

Thank you for outlining your process in overcoming your fear, Elizabeth.  I do enjoy hearing how others have gotten to where they are.   Sometimes I can just take the path that is already cut out by other footsteps.   And then there are the times – as I’m sure you are familiar with – when I have to push through the brush and do it my way.   Thanks for showing a little footpath…. Because I’m sure there might be spiders in the bushes over there à.


I have a pretty healthy helping of curiosity inside me, which I think helps with issues like this.   Similar to your story, I came home one fall evening and as I came up the steps to my front porch I noticed a very large spider web, -  complete with a big scary spider -between some porch posts.  I had to come about two feet close to it to get in my door.  It was a full moon that night and the spider and web were illuminated so beautifully – right in front of the moon.   My body had the physical reaction of stiffening and I felt the sharp inhalation of breath in my lungs.   But still… that image was so beautiful.  Although I was repulsed and frightened by it, I had to go back out and try to take a picture of it…. But just couldn’t get my little digital Kodak camera to comprehend how to focus on that – much less not to flash in the darkness. 


I can imagine that watching the sun rise through that spider and web, with the drops of dew on the web was gorgeous.   I have seen webs in the morning sun and they are a sight to behold.   Thank you for that visual. 


I truly believe that this post helped shift some of my fear.  In writing down what my mind was telling me – such as how I thought a spider on the ceiling would “fall” on me – and other “thoughts” that came out during my writing and responding in this post, I really had to laugh as some of the absurdity of it. 


This morning at work… I encountered two spiders in the hallway. (Alive and moving) Although I had the initial quick and jerky sidestep and the simultaneous sharp intake of breath, it was quickly followed by a smile, and acknowledgment, and a thought about you guys out here.   (Isn’t that the best compliment you ever had?  Lol    Spiders made me think of you!) 


I thank you all for sharing so wonderfully.


With Love,


Viveka's picture

I can now see the funny side of these encounters.

I have had a few encounters with spiders three that stand out. First when I was just married my husband and I were in bed he was reading me just laying there watching this spider on the roof over his side of the bed. I'm thinking if it stays over your side alls well!!! I said look at that spider its going to fall, Husband said "don't be rediculous spiders don't fall". Well it started to crawl towards my side of the bed, I'm watching and waiting sure enough, that spider fell. But by the time it hit the bed I was out of the room, Lol.

Second encounter (First child was born within 20 minutes of first labour pains. 2nd child on the way so I'm on tenderhooks anyway as we lived at least 40 minutes from hospital. We are in the car, its  pelting down rain and this big hairy huntsman crawls across the windshield. No idea how far we were from, but by the time we got to the hospital I was in the back seat with no recollection of getting there.

Third encounter..... This was after Bronwyn passed, Tess my eldest daughter and I were renting  an old three bedroom house the lounge was long with a brick feature wall at one end. The television was in the corner at this end. It was a really hot Melbourne night 36-38 c thats close to 100F I think, anyway it was damn hot.      Tess in her artroom painting me in the lounge  room sprawled over a chair watching the tv, so hot all lights off only the flickering light from the telly, when out of the corner of my eye something on the brick wall moved. I sat there for a moment another movement then Bl...y Hell I swear that wall moved. I stood up turned the light on and I KID YOU NOT about 200 spiders various breeds shaps and sizes crawled onto the ceiling. As you can imagine I was hysterical. Tess knowing  what I was like with spiders and thinking yeh yeh yeh Mums seen a daddy long legs again yelled out hang on I'm coming.   

     Well I have to tell you she came out stood in the doorway, her eyes followed mine onto the roof.   She just said OH S..T. I think we sprayed 2 full cans of spray nearly chocking ourselves in the process and after a time vacuumed up the bodies.

I was told that it was so hot that the spiders had come out onto the bricks as that was the coolest place, and if you live in a house spiders are never too far away. I have a healthy respect for them and will go around them if I can where we all go on about our own business.  But it is an in the momemt thing if I sense one is dangerous and I can not get past it it goes to God.

Not sure what the message was way back then "when I was a city slicker" but I have since lived in a rain forest and have gotten to know and love Nature a whole lot more. Blessings.

Peace Love and much Joy

The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"