It only Takes a Girl

tscout's picture

         Definitely more powerful with the statistics

          I heard this subject mentioned alot in New Orleans, in several places, and noticed the girl in the beginning of the video was wearing a Tulane sweatshirt....hopefully these staggering statistics bring more awareness....

Brian's picture

That's an effective technique to make me pay attention. This reached deep inside me to compassion and sadness and anger. I sometimes hate all men but women contribute to this themselves in a cycle of pain too. People do terrible things trying to relieve their own emotional traumas by simply causing suffering for another caught in their predicament. It reminds me of the rotten way 3rd world families may treat new daughters-in-law where she becomes a slave for many years doing the chores and housework of her husbands family. The mother wants to put someone else thru the agony she experienced. Everybody else wants a free ride too.

Noa's picture

It's a beautiful and moving video... but it doesn't give us ideas about how to make positive changes.

Here's one group that is doing incredible work to break the cycle of poverty and raise the standard of living of entire villages.

If you have other ideas, please share them.

Wendy's picture

I hate to be difficult here but I worry that heartfelt calls for help for these girls can be misguided. "Education" is frequently is only indoctrination into sweatshop slavery and in many third world countries women are happier living in agricultural poverty rather than moving to cities where they earn sweatshop wages.

I hope and pray we can change cultural practices to respect all peoples, especially all children.

Well, there we have it.  NEVER EVER teach a Girl to read and write.  It is part of the evil plot to enslave mankind.


Noa's picture

When I first heard about forced female circumcision in Nigeria, I immediately thought, why aren't groups like NOW (National Organization for Women) voicing their outrage against it?

Here we are years later, and such atrocities persist.

Have we forgotten how interelated we all are or do we just not care?

"Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly."  ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

In Lak'ech - (I am another yourself.)

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.  ~ The Beatles

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."  ~ Matthew 25:40


Give a Girl a Cell phone and teach her to read!  Gasp!  Could this mean she will be enslaved?

But, God Forbid any girl be educated that would be against those time honored cultural traditions of slavery, torture, mutilation and rape!




Several years ago the U.N. released a report strongly supporting the education of women which would provide the solution to the twin problems of over-population and poverty.  This seems powerful to me.  Ignorance(of the general populous about this), prejudice, custom, religion and other factors are daunting obstacles to efforts to educate girls and women but they will be overcome. Without this education, world peace will remain a far off dream.

Baha'u'llah, in His book of Laws proclaimed the obligation to educate all children.  This was further clarified by His son, Abdu'l Baha, as he elaborates on the responsibility of parents to educate all their children, where he also clearly specifies that the "training and culture of daughters is more necessary than that of sons," for girls will one day be mothers and mothers are the first educators of the new generation. If it is not possible, therefore, for a family to educate all the children, preference is to be accorded to daughters, since, through educated mothers, the benefits of knowledge can be most effectively and rapidly diffused throughout society.

This idea, released more than a hundred years ago, was revolutionary at the time, but is being verified in many ways in this day.  Heaven knows we could use a lot more educated women in handling the affairs of the world today.  I have no doubt that they would have a much more beneficial effect that the almost all-male handlers now operating.

Thank you FFG for showing the video and helping to keep the importance of this in our awareness.

Baby Falak which means Sky is a story that is raising awareness of the Girl Effect in India.  The teenager that caused some of the child's injuries was herself enslaved and abused.  Abuse is a Cycle.  It is not a culture.  Abuse has no place in a culture.  Baby Falak has shown her light in the most dismal situation to encourage change in India.  Many Indians are now examining their values--- around girl children.

This is the events that led to the Abuse and trauma of baby Falak.  It is a story of Patriarchy and Abuse.  It is is a story that happens everywhere even in Western Society. It could be happening in your neighborhood.




Brian's picture

education-reading, writing, math skills etc.
-won't lead to a sweatshop I presume
-there is hope for something better if there's opportunity present
-leads to more awareness of things like contraception or understanding money or ways to make a living
-it can give a woman options so she is not desperately dependent on her husband
-which means she may be treated better by men
-the girl child may have expanded horizons by her educated mom
-health concerns may be met with fewer superstitions and greater knowledge

Wendy's picture

Yes, I apologize for being so negative- I think you all are probably right that most efforts to educate are genuine and helpful to girls and boys. I made this comment based on my own experience with education being somewhat of a bum rap here in the U.S. I was also speaking from knowledge that many NGO's in third world countries such as the Gates Foundation are touting that they are providing health care, etc. to people in 3rd world countries when they are really providing vaccines that sterilize. So when other charities are saying that they will educate I worry that it might not be true help but a way to prepare agricultural peoples for factory work and other mostly meaningless jobs. I think John Perkins speaks a little of the role of NGO's in developing nations his book Economic Hitman, however I couldn't find the relevant passage when I went to look for it.

Brian's picture

Just saw this story about an "ad" billboard that only displays for women! _Pointing to exclusions of women in the

I find this interesting given that I can read and write exceptionally well.  I can add and subtract, do long division and multiply!  I have the ability to research, use deductive and inductive reasoning.  I can understand a story based upon the context, predict endings and anticipate plot. 

I have an excellent grasp on Civics, history, and world religions as well as spirituality.

And-- drum roll,

I AM A WOMAN and Girl Child educated in those dismal USA small town schools where reading and writing were taught with the zeal of teachers who really liked teaching children. 

It is because of the that so called dismal education system that I am able to learn so well!  Doors open to me because I can read and write and speak English and some French (which I learned from that Dismal American USA system of Education).

I am also seeing that same trend in my daughter (gasp) who attend a rather sunny dismal Elementary School that is funded by the town, state and federal government and by the Parent Teacher Organization that through the spirit of American Volunteerism and Giving manage to raise the funds that the taxes do not provide for robust school supplies, classroom libraries, field trips, arts and music enrichment activities, and sports.  My daughters are learning to read and write and get along with their neighbors quite well in the Town's preschool.

In My son's class the GIRL-Children are better students than the boys (who tend to like to socialize more than the girls and be mischevious).  They seem to be quite capable and light years ahead in their understanding of the world around them.  I remember when I was in the 4th grade--- We were just learning to write in script and beginning multiplication!  My son is doing what the 6th grade did for curricula in the 4th grade.  His homework is about an hour a night.  Completely doable and made fun by the interesting lessons the teacher uses to illustrate the numerous topics she is mandated to teach by the Federal and State guidelines.

So to say:  All American Schools are a dismal failure is inacurate.  I am sure that many Girl Students in places where educating Girls is optional and considered wrong-- would love to be in a classroom with 14  students and an attentive teacher that uses positve reinforcement and modern teaching methods.  Most 3rd world schools teach like they did in Laura Ingalls time-- by rote, repetition, and the rod (whack a hand if you make a mistake).  This is not the way most American Schools are run. Some places still are a bit backwards like in Catholic Schools and some schools where they think the "South will rise again."  But for the most part many schools are better than they are in other places where Girls and boys for that matter are rarely educated.

Inner City Schools have the same problems as inner city schools have in European Countries.  The belief that European schools do not have the same problems as American Schools is a miracle of statistics--- the moving around numbers to create the miracle that they have no issues  There is plenty of violence that happens in European Schools-- this is learned by reading accounts of people actually educated in Europe.  There are plenty of accounts of beatings by teachers, students fighting, and school deaths..

The stellar Japanese Education--- only if your IQ is about 130 is it stellar.  All the other kids all go to the village or neighborhood school where sometimes in a class of over 100 kids to 1 teacher they learn reading and writing by rote, repetition and the rod. These kids are not included in the Statistics of the Nation.  They are not considered part of the "official" education system.  Hazing by teachers of kids that do not fit in is brutal and humiliting by American standards.   There is a saying in Japan:  "The nail that sticks up gets pounded down."  Comformity at all costs is expected.


A Brief History of Infanticide

General Historical Evidence

In 1978, Laila Williamson, an anthropologist of the American Museum of Natural History, summarized the data she had collected on the prevalence of infanticide among tribal and civilized societies from a variety of sources in the scientific and historical literature. Her conclusion was startlingly blunt:

Infanticide has been practiced on every continent and by people on every level of cultural complexity, from hunters and gatherers to high civilization, including our own ancestors. Rather than being an exception, then, it has been the rule.

There is ample historical evidence to document the incredible propensity of parents to murder their children under an assortment of stressful situations. In nineteenth century England, for example, infanticide was so rampant throughout the country that a debate over how to correct the problem was carried out in both the lay and medical press. An editorial in the respected medical journal Lancet noted that "to the shame of civilization it must be avowed that not a State has yet advanced to the degree of progress under which child-murder may be said to be a very uncommon crime.

Infanticide has pervaded almost every society of mankind from the Golden Age of Greece to the splendor of the Persian Empire. While there are many diverse reasons for this wanton destruction, two of the most statistically important are poverty and population control. Since prehistoric times, the supply of food has been a constant check on human population growth. One way to control the lethal effects of starvation was to restrict the number of children allowed to survive to adulthood. Darwin believed that infanticide, "especially of female infants," was the most important restraint on the proliferation of early man.

While female infanticide has at times been necessary for survival of the community-at-large, there have also been instances where it has been related to the general societal prejudice against females which characterizes most male-dominated cultures.

Evidence in Arabia

Sexism was particularly prominent in Arabia before the time of Mohammed (570?-632 AD). The Persian world was a very paternalistic society, and females were generally seen as an undesirable burden to a family struggling to survive. A common proverb held that it was "a generous deed to bury a female child." Nevertheless, the Koran, which collected the writings of Mohammed, introduced reforms that included the prohibition of female infanticide. Mohammed outlined the wrongfulness of infanticide in various sections of his holy scripture.

He asked, with censure ' for example, how would a father account for his actions, "When the female child that had been buried alive shall be asked for what crime she was put to death?"

Evidence in Judaism and Christianity

While we also find discrimination in the treatment of women within the Western religions of Judaism and Christianity, there were safeguards in both practices to prevent social acceptance of infanticide by its adherents. The Jews were clearly against the taking of human life, and generally forbade the killing of any newborn infant. Maimonides (1135 - 1204 AD), the renowned Jewish philosopher and physician, pointed out that a single man was first created in Genesis, "to teach us that if any man destroys a single life in the world, scriptures imputes it to him as though he has destroyed the whole world." Each life, each spark of being, was a gift of God and only the Holy Father could extinguish its flame. Infanticide was therefore rare and never socially accepted by the Jews.

That some early Christian parents did indeed expose unwanted female infants to the elements was evident in the writings of the Church Fathers who were concerned over future acts of incest. Saint Justin Martyr (114-166 AD) cautioned that it was wicked to expose children for, "almost all those who are exposed are raised to prostitution." He then added a warning against consorting with prostitutes because it was thereby possible that one would be guilty of having intercourse with his own child. Clement of Alexandria (150-211 AD) similarly advised of this danger. For the most part, however, as with the Jews, this criminal act was not accepted by Christian Society, and infanticide remained a clearly impious and illegal act.

Evidence in India and China

Despite the clear theistic prohibitions against child-murder by the three major Western religions, female infanticide has been for centuries a prominent and socially acceptable event in two related areas of the world: India and China. Even today, the extent of the problem is measured in frightening proportions: "at least 60 million females in Asia are missing and feared dead, victims of nothing more than their sex. Worldwide, research suggests, the number of missing females may top 100 million. "

The data is truly astounding, Estimates indicate that 30.5 million females are "missing" from China, 22.8 million in India, 3.1 million in Pakistan, 1.6 million in Bangladesh, 1.7 million in West Asia, 600,000 in Egypt, and 200,000 in Nepal.

It is clear that the onerous costs involved with the raising of a girl, end eventually providing her an appropriate marriage dowry, was the single most important factor in allowing social acceptance of the murder at birth in India. In China, economics also played a significant role since it is a poor country with one of the lowest rates of agricultural output per acre of arable land in the world. With an extremely high infant and child mortality rate, because of sparse food supply and medical care, a married couple needed to raise three sons in order to ensure the survival of one into adulthood. Females were only consumers and a serious financial burden to a poor family. They were therefore often killed at birth

Infanticide in Modem Times

Colonial America

The colonists brought infanticide to America from England while at the same time finding that the Indians practiced it as well. As was the case in Germany extreme discipline characterized family life in puritanical colonial America and parents were given extensive liberty to punish their children, even to the point of death. In 1646 the General Court of Massachusetts Bay had enacted a law where "a stubborn or rebellious son, of sufficient years and understanding, " would be brought before the Magistrates in court and "such a son shall be put to death." "Stubborn child laws" were also enacted in Connecticut in 1650, Rhode Island in 1668, and New Hampshire in 1679.

How ingrained was the attitude of rigid parental control over the discipline of children can be evidenced by a comparison to concern over animal welfare. Henry Bergh founded the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) in 1866.4 After first completing his campaign to improve the plight of cats and dogs, Burgh brought by special warrant to the Supreme Court of New York, the case of Mary Ellen who claimed that the child's custodians had beaten her cruelly and that she should be brought under the protection of the court.

The resulting court action and publicity led to the founding of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children which was a parallel protection agency to his first endeavor. Such watchgroups for the welfare of children were much needed in the United States during this era. In antebellum Virginia, during the 1850's, the mortality of children under the age of one year of age was 16-20%. It is believed that many of these were actually due to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Modern America

"In 1966, the United States had 10,920 murders, and one out of every twenty-two was a child killed by a parent."

Despite our predilection for considering modern civilization "advanced," the crime of infanticide has continued to pervade most contemporary cultures. The major difference between the nature of infanticide in the twentieth century, when compared to the rest of recorded history, however, is due to the impact of one modern medical advancement: the widespread availability of safe, and legal, means of abortion. The ability to easily terminate a pregnancy, and thereby eliminate an unwanted child before it is born, has had a profound effect on the prevalence of infanticide. The human species has killed almost 10% - 15% of all children born. The majority of these murders have been associated with reasons of necessity at least in the minds of the infanticide parent - or with untoward reactions against an unwanted birth. With little ability to abort an unwanted pregnancy safely, troubled parents have had little choice but to wait until full-term delivery before disposing of the conception.

Of approximately 6.4 million pregnancies in the United States in 1988, 3.6 million were unintended and therefore subject to dangerous consequences. 1.6 million of those unwanted pregnancies resulted in abortion. In Britain, more than 160,000 legal abortions, or terminations of pregnancy, were carried out each year during this same period of time. The Family Planning Association in Russia says that there are more than 3 million abortions performed each year, more than double the number of births. In France, there are almost one million abortions each year, equal to the number of births. This means that over five million pregnancies were aborted in the Western world alone each year, and if the births of those children would not have been prevented, it is very likely that many of those infants would have been victims of infanticidal rage.

Morally right or wrong - a case of murder or manifestation of a woman's right to choose - the fact remains that the frequent use of abortion has eased the necessity for killing an infant after its birth.

Statistical Analysis - United States

Statistically, the United States ranks high on the list of countries whose inhabitants kill their children. For infants under the age of one year, the American homicide rate is 11th in the world, while for ages one through four it is 1st and for ages five through fourteen it is fourth. From 1968 to 1975, infanticide of all ages accounted for almost 3.2% of all reported homicides in the United States.

The 1980's followed similar trends. Whereby overall homicide rates were decreasing in the United States, the rate at which parents were killing their children was increasing, In 1983, over six hundred children were reported killed by their parents, and from 1982-1987, approximately 1.1% of all homicides were children under the age of one year of age. When the homicide of a child was committed by a parent, it was the younger age child who was in the greater danger of being killed, while if the killer was a non-parent, then the victim was generally older.

The characterization of the type of parent that is likely to kill their child has changed little over the years. As far back as the middle ages, the children of the poor "Were by far the most common victims of the parental negligence and despair." Today, infanticide is still most commonly seen in areas of severe poverty.

And just as infanticide was described as a crime that was committed by the mother in medieval times, such a likelihood remains true today. Although men are more likely to murder in general, statistical review of prosecutions show that infanticide is usually committed by the mother. When mothers killed their children, however, the victim was usually a newborn baby or younger infant. Some research shows that for murders of children over the age of one year in the United States, white fathers were the perpetrators 10% more often than white mothers, and black fathers 50% more than black mothers.

Other risk factors can include young maternal age, low level of education and employment, and signs of psychopathology, such as alcoholism, drug abuse or other criminal behavior. The most common method of killing children over the ages has been head trauma, strangulation and drowning. Most of the murders today are committed with the use of the mother's hands, either by strangulation or physical punishment.

Copyright � 1998, Dr. Larry S. Milner.  All rights reserved.

Noa's picture

I'm currently reading, "What is the What," the autobiography of Sudanese refugee, Achak Deng.  It is a vivid example of the mass injustice, poverty, genocide, enslavement, and displacement of millions of people in the pursuit of the elite agenda.  The story follows the movement of tens of thousands of "Lost Boys" and other displaced Africans across hundreds of miles to the "promised land" of Ethiopa and beyond.  They have been promised safety and "education."  When they arrive, it's immediately apparent they've been duped.   Many of the boys over twelve are recruited into the rebel Red Army where they are systematically beaten and trained to death.  Achak's struggle to achieve a college education is far from over when he  is finally relocated to America.

There are countless stories such as these.  Poor people in undeveloped countries are often promised education and a better way of life only to find themselves enslaved or forced into prostitution.  I do not think Wendy's concerns are unfounded.

From what I've come to know about Wendy, she sometimes can be more cynical and less trusting than I -- who often accepts things at face value.  Yet many times Wendy's caution has prompted enough pause in me that, after gathering more facts, I found her instincts to be correct.

Although there are still bright people emerging from our public school system, if statistics were compared over the past fifty years, I have no doubt that a pattern of decline in competence and quality would be revealed.  Our current education system is abysmal.  It's cranking out robotic workers instead of creative thinkers.  Far too often, I hear interviews with teenagers and young adults who don't know that Paris is the capital of France and that France is a country in Europe.  Our own, Sarah Palin comes to mind in this regard.  Do you remember when she recently called Africa a "country" ?!

This deliberate "dumbing down" of our children should come as no surprise to those who know about the PTW's dirty hands in every major institution of our lives - including education.

Need more proof?



We should be outraged!  We should be demanding more from the System that is supposed to exist to benefit our society.... but we're too busy slaving to eek out a living in world filled with empty promises and lies, convinced we are helpless to do much about it.

It is unwise to throw the baby out with the bath water.  It is equally unwise to call all education a sham used for the further subjucation of human beings.

Without Education there is no change. 

Believe it or Not, Wendy and Noa, there are people in the world who do good works that asssist and facilitate children and adults in learning the skills to the grow their own potential into a reality. 

I am fully aware of the Lost Boys of Africa--- this is not just a Nigerian Problem.  I also am aware of the Lost boys of Iran, the Lost Children of Cambodia, the Cultural Wars of China, the Lost Generations of the Native American, the Street Children of Brazil and almost every nation of the Earth, the Enslavement of Children in every country of the World, the Lost Children of Haiti.  And in every instance, when true education is accessible and available they children's lives , the lives of their parents and villages and nations are raised up.  The World is raised up through reading, writing, arithmatic.  To say that all schools in the world are a sham is truly a shame.

I take particular offense to being called Stupid because I am an American.  There are stupid people throughout the world.  Ignorance is found in every country and every place in the world.  Including from people who label others as stupid.


Noa's picture

Who said said, "all schools in the world are a sham?"  Who called you "stupid because [you're] an American?"

Fairy, I think sometimes you forget to follow your own advice.

... and lately the anger is speaking louder than the blessings of love.


Step back.  Take a break.  Breathe.

"How Stupid Americans are"  is the video title.   I find it offensive. 

I refrained from blessing you or Wendy with Love, Noa, as you have made it clear that you find such blessings to be offensive in other posts you have let me know this loud and clear with the backing of Chris.  So I no longer bless you or Wendy with Love.  Sometimes I bless all with Love.  But lately I find such words to be unnecessary.

You assume I am angry when I am not.  My emotional state is calm and called to purpose.  My comments are in a cynical and sarcastic tone--  If this were a face to face communication you might find yourself laughing--- but then again you may not as you project your own anger at others and assume others are angry when they may not be so at all.



Wendy's picture

I am wishing for lots of hope and compassion for all of us. I think the news is very stressful lately perhaps especially for those of us who care most about those least able to defend themselves. Let us all go easy on each other. Fairy, I have always felt uncomfortable with using the word love at a forum like this where I don't feel like I know people well enough to have the same kind of love that I have for my family. God bless you for having the heart and bravery to use it here. I aologize if my lack of using this word has made me come across as cold. I am wishing you all the best and I'm sorry if my critical mind tends to overtake my heart.

Thank you Noa for your supportive words.


Dear friends, what I detect from the last several posts is a deep concern by each one, for the poor state of education, whether of girls or the general population.  Each one feels deeply, the costs to our society, the damage to the future of humanity and perhaps a sense of helplessness bordering even on hopelessness for the state of affairs.  No, Americans are not stupid but some Americans definitely are and this kind of ignorance abounds around the world.  This video, to me, is just a slice of the problem and a similar slice could  be found in every country.  No one here(on this post) is stupid!  I sense concerned, caring, loving people who strongly want to make a positive change to their world and each will work on this according to their own propensities and perceptions.  We need all different kinds of people to handle the problems thrown at us from all different angles and directions.  We do not know what is exactly the right thing to do but if we act with our best knowledge, love, intention, then what may seem conflict at first will probably turn out to be complementary and directly or indirectly supportive of each, leading to the advancement of humanity, no matter how small.  I think you are all great and I have benefited greatly from each of your posts and comments on the G-spot. 

Love is the natural condition of the universe, thus we are all connected thru this universal love.  The love is always there but sometimes we disconnect ourselves for our many human reasons and that's ok. We can always reconnect.


Noa's picture

Your comments are right on the mark, S of D.  Thank you for expressing what I had attempted, but was unsuccessful.

I'll try again to clarify my position.  I agree with both Fairy and Wendy.   Quality education is very important for improving the lives of all people.  The links that Fairy posted lead to groups doing valuable work in this field. 

By defending Wendy, I was merely stating that she had a point -- that education is not always what it is proposed to be.   These positions are NOT mutually exclusive.  It is possible to support education without agreeing with every aspect of it.

And yes, Fairy, I agree.  The video I posted might have been better received with a less offensive title.  But then again, is the title saying anything untrue?   Doesn't the video deliver exactly what it says?  These are examples of poorly educated people who happen to also be Americans.   When I posted it, I did not foresee that anyone would take it as a personal afront.  It was meant only to support my position about the abysmal state of education, not to generalize the all of anything or anybody.  I'm perplexed that such conclusions were made.

Again, Wendy adds more words of wisdom.  We're on the same team, folks.  Let's not bicker with each other.   Though our ideas may differ about how to achieve them, our goals are basically the same.   I think we can agree that we all want things like peace and properity.  

There is an element of unrest in the air as the Earth travels through a sea of galactic changes.   Most of us knew this was coming.   We, more than most, should be prepared to ride the storm; to be a beacon of light for others.  Let's treat each other gently and with care. If we don't, who will?

Please remember that written words can be easily misinterpreted.  We are not privy to voice inflections or visual cues that would tell us the mood of the speaker.  I do my best to choose words that do not generalize people with a broad brush.  I seek to be clear and unambiguous, yet still some people somehow find a way to be offended or construe meanings that I don't intend to convey.   I never intentionally try to offend, though I can't help but speak honestly, which can sometimes be difficult for some people to take.

If you should find yourself offended by something posted here (by me or anyone else), I suggest you try this.  Instead of immediately blaming the writer, look inside yourself.  Search for what is causing the pain.  The words could be triggering an old wound from the past or a characteristic of your personality and have little to do with the post you are reading, now.   There are lessons to be learned in these feelings.  Though painful, such reactions are gifts.   They help us to bring emotions and negative patterns to the surface where we can process them and heal.

Above all, try not to take things personally.  Each of us here, in our own way, has good intentions.  We are simply sharing information.  We don't have to agree with everything that is presented just as we don't have to be offended, especially when no offense is intended.  No one can MAKE us feel anything.  That's our choice.

Peace and love,





ChrisBowers's picture

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its a friggin' duck Elizabeth.  You want to believe it is witty sarcasm being mistaken, misunderstood, but it clearly sounds mean for mean's sake many times for years now.  Do you really think that everyone commenting about this just plain don't get it?  And that's just their problem if they don't?  Either you don't really know how harsh and cold you come off when you post such callous comments, or you just plain don't care.  Do your spiritual sources really direct you in this way?  Is this really what you've learned from all your lofty sources???

Which interdimensional source directed you to entertain yourself at the expense of others' feelings?

Would that be the Narcism Fairy???

I guess we all can just write it off and say, "Oh, that's just Elizabeth"

"That's just her style - no reason to get your panties in a bunch".

But really, do you have any loving concern and compassion for those going through the lessons and reading comments like those directed at Wendy recently?  Does anything humble you anymore?

When you close with "I bless you with Love", is that sarcasm too?

Or just bipolar behavior?

Don't you know you lose credibility each time you do this?  I'm guessing you're not too concerned with that, just love hearing yourself talk the way you do in those mean and inconsiderate posts...

Just a bit more loud and clear backing from your good buddy Chris...

Don't bother with a typical "chip on shoulder" retort Elizabeth - I have had enough

We should be so past this kind of spiritually adolescent nonsense on this site by now, and yet it endures to this day...

"That's All Folks!"  Am outta here....


I thank you all for your comments and feedback.  I wish you all well. Take care.

It is my hope that true education will be available to every child that wishes to learn regardless of their ability to pay, caste, social creed, or race.  I see it as a human right.

I used sarcasm as the voice to illustrate how damaging other's sarcasm is, including yours Chris.

Sigh, I will say again, when I bless you with Love, I truly mean I bless you with Love. 



Noa's picture

What is the difference between sarcasm and anger?  Isn't sarcasm just a thinly-veiled, passive-aggressive version of anger?

When I was in my twenties, I used to use sarcasm quite frequently, believing that it was just an expression of my quick, dry, wit.  Then I noticed that I was offending people.  At first, I thought they had no sense of humor.  Then a friend showed me how my sarcasm didn't hide my anger at all... and it definitely wasn't funny on the receiving end.

I quickly dropped the habit of using sarcasm after realizing what an ugly form of expression it really is.

"In the end, only kindness matters." ~ Jewel


ChrisBowers's picture

"I used sarcasm as the voice to illustrate how damaging other's sarcasm is, including yours Chris"

That makes absolutely no sense liz.  Wendy wasn't being sarcastic, she was sincerely addressing honest concerns (as was Noa) about our educational system in this country, and you let her have it with both barrels.  And it was and is actually I who is using sarcasm toward you "to illustrate how damaging other's (your) sarcasm is".  Have you even noticed that Wendy has not been back since you bit her head off verbally?  I can only imagine how she feels, like it's an unsafe place to share thoughts and feelings about things she is concerned with...

Sigh, I will say it again, you either don't get it, or you stubbornly refuse to understand anything other than what's churning in your own mind...

Sigh and Bless all you want - what people remember is the content of the posts, not the hollow polished pseudo spiritual blessing at the end.  The blessing will carry much more weight when the posts are in loving accord with it - it's not rocket science liz...

fredburks's picture

Hi Chris,

On reading Fairy's response to Wendy's comment, it felt like Fairy was quite offended and seemed to attack Wendy for simply stating her beliefs. I felt very sad about this. But when I read your comment above, I was even more suprised. Why did you choose to attack Fairy? Do you believe that attack is more effective than compassion in a situation like this?

I would love it if we all could do our best to focus on compassion when we feel attacked. I wish you lots of love and offer this as an opportunity for reflection.

With sacred love and support,

fredburks's picture

Hey beautiful Gathering Spot friends,

I received a message from Fairy that she was feeling upset about this post. I'll copy here my response to her, which I share with all involved as an invitation and a challenge to find our way back to love and transformation.

With much love to the divine heart in you all,

Hi Elizabeth,

Thanks for letting me know about the post. That video is very powerful. I very much support the education of women around the world. Thanks so much for sharing that.

As I read through the comments, I was surprised by Wendy's comment that it may be better not to educate women. She definitely seemed to be coming from a conspiracy viewpoint, which to me was very sad.

Yet then I was even more surprised when I read your comment following hers. I found Wendy's comment was not in the least an attack or desire to create conflict, but rather just a stating of her own opinion. Yet your response felt very much like an emotional attack to me. It's as if you were personally offended by Wendy's thought. Do you see that as a possibility?

On reading Chris' post, I can see why you were deeply offended. Yes, he seemed to be needing to directly attack you. It sounds like he is upset as he believes you have caused Wendy to pull back from posting. How sad that people who truly want to spread more love in the world end up attacking each other. What do you think?

I suspect this is a powerful opportunity for all involved to explore what is going on here. If we, who are clearly dedicated to transforming our world through love, can't move through our differences in situations like this, how can we hope the rest of the world will do this? Are you interested in taking this as an opportunity to grow and learn? If you really want transformation in your life, this is where the rubber meets the road. I welcome your thoughts. You take care.

With much love and support,

fredburks's picture

Thanks for such a beautiful response inviting us to come together, Noa. When I am triggered by someone's  response to me, I find it is very helpful to take some space and explore why I am triggered before responding. Yet inevitably, we all make mistakes at times. Let us open to finding forgiveness for both ourselves and those who trigger us. I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

With much love and gratitude,

ChrisBowers's picture

She can take it.  If she can dish it out like she did to Wendy the other day (and has so many other times), she can take it.  We should be able to weather a heated honest discussion when this kind of ego bs happens, like the Coyote Den days.  We do not need to tip toe around this kind of thing IMO.

I would lay in to anyone who talks the way Elizabeth talked the other day, and will not apologize for being willing to do so.  Funny thing is Fred, I did not post anything in response, as much as I was sorely tempted to lay into her the moment she posted what she posted in response to Wendy.  This has been a few days, but then I read one of her latest posts in response to Noa and she had mentioned my name in the context of her defensive response, and that was it - I let her have it...

No worries though - I will relieve myself of this nonsense for good - over n out...

Take care you all and have a great 2012 and beyond

Thanks for all you're doing Fred, and you take care...

fredburks's picture

So are you saying that when someone attacks, Chris, the appropriate response is to attack them back? Is this really the best way to help people committed to spreading love to see their weaknesses? I personally like the approach of Course in Miracles, which says that every act is either an act of love or a call for love. You take care.

With much love and warm wishes,

ChrisBowers's picture

My heartfelt and sincere answer to your question is "sometimes".  For me it is an intuitive thing, and can be considered arrogant and presumptuous.  It's me going out on a limb at those times, and I am fine with that, and the resulting consequences...

Like I said, I didn't post anything when I first read the offending post to Wendy, and did not intend to, but then I read my name in Elizabeth's retort to Noa a few days later (today) and....

You take care Fred - and again Bless you for all you're doing...

fredburks's picture

Sounds like you were pretty upset when you read Elizabeth's comments about you in that post. That is certainly understandable. I'm just wondering what happened to the Chris who so loves the Law of One and believes we are all one, united in love. Somehow attacking back to me doesn't seem to resonate with that. Does it to you? And what about one of the core principles of the transformation team - treating every person we meet with honesty, integrity, and respect. Do you feel you are doing that?

I totally understand your being upset, Chris, and support you in allowing the emotions to rise. Yet you can do that with the intention of moving through them in order to find your way back to oneness and love. This is the beautiful dance of the shadow.

From what I've seen, you and Elizabeth have some pretty strong and long-standing judgments of each other and have learned how to trigger each other. To transform this will take some real effort and self introspection on the parts of both of you and Elizabeth. Yet I believe this is what we are here for. Do you really want to change the world, Chris? Here is your opportunity.

My recommendation would be that you read through lesson three at and consider how you might play a key role in making this important shift and finding true love and compassion for Elizabeth. Remember that it only takes one person to transform a relationship.

I'm sorry that as I'm going to be starting a silent retreat tomorrow, I won't be around in the next two days to watch what unfolds, but I certainly will be supporting you all energetically in finding your way back to love with each other. If we all commit to moving from love and compassion, I believe we can can change our lives and world to a much more loving and supportive place. You take care, and thanks for doing your best.

With much love and support,

Wendy's picture

Holy cow, I have to look inward to see how I stirred all this drama up but thank you ALL (including Fairy) for the roles you are playing. I was very hurt the other day reading what your wrote Fairy and did have to step away from the G-spot for a while to absorb what had happened and figure out how to respond, if at all. I think what you aren't getting is that I question everything, absolutely everything and I'm sorry if it comes off negatively but evil does cloak itself in good deeds and so I question the good along with the bad and ugly. My world was turned up-side down by 9/11, nothing feels steady or sure anymore. My education was also wonderful in many ways (perhaps you are right and I should be more grateful) but it also lied to me in many ways - so much information that is being shared here at the g-spot is in direct conflict to what I was taught in school. Please understand that a question is not meant as an attack or criticism, it's just a question. I am sorry if my questions have left people feeling attacked. My purpose is to discern truth by questioning all. I used to belong on a debate team in junior high but I guess the trouble is, I learned to enjoy it a bit too much. I like to look at things at all angles, twist stuff around and see if I can change my own mind about what it is I'm looking at. I have a hard time taking stuff at face value and I don't trust first impressions. Perhaps it is this lack of trust that you find so offensive. I'm not sure how I could change that.

Fairy, I think your second film post (the 5 gateways) was absolutely fantastic and a wonderful gift. Thank you. I wish you would contact me directly with your concerns, perhaps we can work it out. I feel certain we are just looking at the same things from different perspectives. I think if you were more willing to dialogue with me and question my questions we could come to an understanding and avoid a lot of hurt and anger.

Son of Dust, your comments were spot on, Thank you.

Noa and Chris, thank you for standing up for me.

Chris, you have had the bravery to voice my thoughts so I will be brave here and admit that I have been thinking what you have posted. Fairy, I apologize for my angry thoughts, I hope you can forgive me.

Fred, thanks so much for your continued support here, attention to all our concerns and calls for compassion and forgiveness.


Viveka's picture

If my house is burning down, I race for the hose to put out the flames. Do I stop to think of the joy that the flame feels in its natural state of burning?

 In Nature if an animal senses attack it will in a split second decide to fight, flight, or lay down and surrender. It is the natural state of things. There is no judgement only cause and effect.

All Is Love. I Am, You Are, We All are the Love The Light and the Blessing and together we are a force to be reconed with.  As I see it in an Ideal World the Heart of each is seen clearly..... I can only speak for my self and though I would dealy love to walk each day with an Open Heart, the fact of the matter is, there is a part of me that has been so deeply Hurt it shuts down, or fires up in an instant  and responds accordingly.... I do not judge myself for this, but am aware of it and trust there will be a healing moment of understanding where the Light of Love that I am will quell the flames of grief and hurt to the point where  the need for defence and hiding (anything) is no longer seen as necesary.....

 What I have Learnt from the traumas of the past is that in the darkness you learn to see the light, (of truth) and discern weather people are comming from the truth of the Heart or the missinformation of the Head. The thing for me is,  when somebody says something and I sense that it is not thier truth I still tend to shut down as I  feel uncomefortable as to how to approach them with the dichotomy of what I am hearing and what I am sensing on a heart to heart level.

It still seems to be a problem for me to say I hear what you are saying but I am sensing such and such, for it is at this point that attack usually takes place, from their hurt or guilty place. (back in the defence room) Yuk.

I guess there is only a need for a solution if there is a problem seen in all of this. Boy How Brave We Are. Talk about the agony and the extacy. I come across this hope its appropriate.

 From a Book of Tao.

Express yourself:

That Is Meaning:

Whatever it is bring it out. But be judicious. The rantings of mad people do not yield greater freedom. Those who are with Tao (truth) use expression to find greater understanding of themselves and so find liberation from ignorance and circumstance.

All that is good and unique should be brought out. If you do not do this, you will be stunted. Never hold back, thinking that you will wait for a better time. The good in you is like a well. The more you draw from it, the more fresh water will seep in. If you do not draw from it, the water will only become stagnant.

What is dark, perhaps even evil, inside must be expressed in a proper way too. Lust, hatred, cruelty, and resentment these must all be carefully taken out yourself, like finding a time bomb and taking it out to be detonated harmlessly. Your Heart may be quite a minefield, but you must persevere in clearing it if you are to plant crops and frolic without concern.

Ask yourself each day. "What remains unexpressed within me." Unless you can express it, you will not clarify your inner Nature.....

And Part of my own story....

Before my Daughter passed throught the Mists of Death I did an intensive weekend with Elizabeth Kubler Ross. During the weekend of a week long exercise. We were taken to a large room, in the room was a foam mattress, a stack of old phone books, a pair of cotton gloves and an eighteen in length of rubber hose.  There were also a coulpe of large stuffed teady bears..... We were invited to one at a time take our place on that mat. (To tell why we had come to this workshop on Death and Dying) Whilst on the mat we could say or do whatever we felt the need to say or do. (there would be no Judgement) There were about 30 people present and never Not Once did I feel any judgement towards or from any of them.

Well let me tell you it took quite some time for the first brave soul to come forward but as she started to tell her story, there was a quiet sound of sobbing as someone up the back related to what she was telling. (No anger here just the need to hug the teady) when she finished she took her place back with the group. The person who was silently sobbing came forward, one at a time we all took our places on the mattress. Some with the need to put on the gloves pick up the rubber hose and beat the crap out of whatever and whoever they need to....There were people from all walks of life at this workshop even a Bishops son who carried great pain and hatred for his Father and the church.

The point of me telling this, is that we ALL have the right to  have a safe place where we are able to learn express ourselves truely (without judgement or without hurting ourselves or others) hopefully with Compassion and Understanding, more hopefully with a sense of Humour and att-onement, (that comes later.)

With Gratitude and Thanks to those that set up this amazingly wonderful Gathering Spot, for I feel the same here as I did with the (Elizabeth Kubler Ross intensive,) amoungst some of the bravest, galant, honorable people that are courages enough to take the road less travelled. For It Is Not For the Faint Hearted.

We Each one ARE the Blessing and the Light Radiating into the Blessed Dark.

 Thank You, I Love You.

 Peace,  Love, Joy  

fredburks's picture

Thanks so much, Wendy, for your clear explanation and your desire to find a way back to love and connection for us all. I love you. I am sorry for my role in this. Please forgive me. And thank you for being who you are.

With deep love and gratitude,

I bless you with love.

I love you.
I am sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.


-- Elizabeth

The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"