Topic
Posted by lightwins
on March 13, 2008 - 8:22am
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
THOUGHTS FOR A SLOW WEEK:
Wouldn't
it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr
Alt Delete' and start all over?
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
BUT MOST OF ALL, REMEMBER:
A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your Heart! :)
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Garden
Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed
and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the
ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
In
the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Who
was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
Who
was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the
next thing that comes outta its butt.'
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"
This seems like as good a place as any to post one of my favorite poems of all time.
8-D
The Frog
by Henry Gibson
Is the frog the farmer's friend?
I don't know.
Is the frog the farmer's friend?
I don't know.
Is the frog the farmer's friend?
Ask me again and I'll tell you the same.
Is the frog the farmer's friend?
I don't know.
HUH?
Gloria came downstairs and saw her mom fixing a second sack lunch for Archie. "Mom why are you making a second lunch for Dad?"
Edith - "Because I fixed him a tongue sandwich and Archie said he wouldn't eat anything that came out of a cow's mouth."
Gloria - "What are you fixing him instead?"
Edith - "An egg salad sandwich."
hope this doesnt get anybody's knickers in a twist.....lol
Origin Of The Species
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?"
The mother answered: "God made Adam and Eve and they
had children and so all mankind was made."
Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father
answered: "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them."
The confused girl returns to her mother and says:
"Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race
was created by God and Papa says we developed from monkeys?"
The mother answers: "Well dear, it is very simple.
I told you about the origin of my side of the family,
and your father told you about his."
ahhh...nothing beats a good laugh.
thanks
A little girl comes outside to where her daddy is working in the garden and says, "Daddy, what's sex?"
Daddy puts down his shovel and sits down with his little girl and tells her about the birds and the bees. He notices she looks a little shell-shocked. "Is anything wrong, Honey? Do you have any questions?"
"Welllll.....mommy wanted me to tell you that dinner would be ready in a couple of secs.
8-D